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Band 5.5

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
In
this
 era of Pandemic, after Lockdown, children have a lot of free
time
, some use it to take
part
 in organised group activities and others try to spend it doing something on their own, depending upon their
parents
' guidance.
Firstly
, it is important for
parents
 to guide their children to take
part
 in activities organized by local groups in order to encourage minors to be active all the
time
. As during pandemic
Add a comma
,
show examples
everyone becomes prone to laziness which completely depraves our daily active routine.
However
, if they take
part
 in physical activities, they become more active and get to acquire more skills and knowledge.
For instance
, my younger brother has been taking
part
 in a play organized by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society every weekend. Fortunately,our society chairman was impressed by his performance
last
 weekend and he got a scholarship in a famous acting school which could lead him to become a professional actor.
Secondly
, if
parents
 guide the youth to occupy their free
time
 on their own by doing something
such
 as reading books, watching tutorials and making journals about their life that could improve their thinking power as well as develop their personality.
Moreover
, they will acquire knowledge of how to be productive in their leisure
time
 rather than laying in bed and playing computer games. To illustrate,
last
 year during
lockdown
Add an article
the lockdown
a lockdown
show examples
, my nephew had started taking tutorials on photoshop during his free
time
 and now after one year of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 he has started earning ,from doing photo editing, as a freelancer. To sum it up, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 both are necessary for children. Not only
parents
 should encourage them but
also
 consider their area of interest so that they would do it
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their will.
Submitted by ak8531526 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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