Children today are told dependent on computer and electronic entertainment.It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays youth tend to enjoy their spare
time
with electronic devices.
Therefore
, it is believed that
children
are needed to allocate more
time
to play outdoor sports. I agree with the aforementioned statement.
To begin
with, in modern society, there is a tendency that
children
prefer
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle. To be specific, advanced technology
enable
Change the verb form
enables
show examples
youth to experience
virtual
Correct article usage
a virtual
show examples
world and convenient lifestyle. By using the technology,
children
do not have to go out to meet their friends because they can communicate with their peers via chatting messengers and play video games together connecting each other online. As well as that, it is quite addictive so that youth spend
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of their free
time
on them.
Therefore
,
this
phenomenon is prevalent and it causes insufficient physical
activities
such
as soccer to
children
. To
alleivate
Correct your spelling
alleviate
this
issue, outdoor
activities
should be encouraged to
children
by building more infrastructures and educating
children
results of the lack of
exercise
.
Firstly
, it is true that insufficient sports infrastructures lead to
this
phenomenon. Take Korea as an example, in Korea, there are few facilities to do
exercise
, so it contributes to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
exercise
as well as addiction to electronic devices.
Therefore
, it seems compulsory to build more facilities and hold campaigns to make
children
take part in sports
activities
.
Secondly
, it is important to educate
children
about
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
results of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sedentary lifestyle. In school,
children
should be taught lack of
exercise
could cause some diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure
then
they will prone to join physical
activities
to stay healthy.
As a result
,
children
will spend more
time
on outdoor
activities
to prevent illness. In conclusion, I believe that encouraging
children
to take part in physical
activities
is indispensable and it will play a significant role in staying healthy
to
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for
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children
.
Submitted by playsocc1216 on

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