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Band 5

Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think advantages of social media outweigh the advantages ?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
In recent days,
online
Add an article
the online
an online
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 community is becoming rising trendy between all age
bracket
Fix the agreement mistake
brackets
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, sharing private details on
social
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the social
a social
show examples
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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 does have
danger
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dangers
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. I totally agree with
this
 statement that social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 have negative effects. The following paragraphs discuss both benefits and drawbacks and reach
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
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 conclusion
To begin
 with, social networks shows a
such
 growing between
people
 in different ages, it has many beneficial effects between individual,
such
 as, share diary with friends or families,
also
 making relationships and meeting new
people
 who share the same interest things or chatting together,
furthermore
, getting famous and had many followers so that provide money from advertisement.
For instance
, there is too many of label resource that can help students to their homework,
also
 exchanging emails with tutors or universities.
On the other hand
, sharing private details
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social networks lead
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 many and extremely drawbacks so
people
 need to be more careful when they use these platforms.
For example
, there
is
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are
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 some strange
people
 how
threat
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threaten
show examples
 others
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their personal information for getting some money. What is more, spread private photos
then
 internet users take it and share it everywhere
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 network pages and making fun of it as a meme,
therefore
, getting
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
 that’s lead individual to depressed and isolated perhaps to suicide. In conclusion, I would like to close
this
 argument by assuring that
online
Correct article usage
the online
show examples
 community has
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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peril
Change to a plural noun
perils
show examples
 to different age groups,
people
 need to learn how to use it wisely and
wary
Add a missing verb
be wary
show examples
 about their particular details from
social
Correct article usage
the social
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 network world
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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