IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Despise the advances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?

#advances #agriculture #people #world #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
in
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 past 50 years we have seen a dramatic increase in the development of agricultural methods.yet, many people from all over the world
sufferd
Correct your spelling
suffered
suffer
suffers
 from the lack of
nurishment
Correct your spelling
nourishment
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think there are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 problem and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 there are some
soloution
Correct your spelling
solution
solutions
 to tackle it.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 there are several reasons why individuals
being
Add a missing verb
are being
show examples
houngry
Correct your spelling
hungry
 in many
countries
Use synonyms
 while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrial agriculture
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been raised in
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
resent
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
 years.
first
Linking Words
 of all, the development of agricultural
industery
Correct your spelling
industry
occuerd
Correct your spelling
occurred
occurs
 in developed
nations
Use synonyms
 which suitable sources of
wather
Correct your spelling
water
weather
 and soil. in
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 when in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society, individual
understande
Correct your spelling
understand
understands
 the importance of
ehancement
Correct your spelling
enhancement
 of
this
Linking Words
 filed they try to seek viable ways to empower it.
however
Linking Words
, in
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 facilities and
sience
Correct your spelling
science
 of
agricultre
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 providing
this
Linking Words
 method is not easy and they
usualy
Correct your spelling
usually
sufferd
Correct your spelling
suffered
suffer
 from
uneniable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
unenviable
amount
Use synonyms
 of nutrition. Take
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 as a good example, when they found improvement of agricultural methods play an
impotant
Correct your spelling
important
 role to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
wealth and reach
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and providing
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
amount
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 for people who live in their cities is crucial so their best for finding bet methods of producing higher
amount
Use synonyms
 of
foods
Use synonyms
 while in many
countries
Use synonyms
 they do not accept
these idea
Change the determiner
this idea
these ideas
show examples
 and until they use traditional ways of producing
foods
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
 is not only led to
insuufecent
Correct your spelling
insufficient
amount
Use synonyms
 of vital
foods
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 the
Correct your spelling
price
show examples
prise
Correct your spelling
price
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been increased
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they come from
another
Replace the adjective
another nation
other nations
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
.
a
Change the article
an
show examples
aresult
Correct your spelling
result
 in
such
Linking Words
 developing country while they do not provide enough
vegatable
Correct your spelling
vegetable
vegetables
 and meets consuming
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this food
these foods
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
 would be hard for consumers.
however
Linking Words
, there are several
remedy
Change to a plural noun
remedies
show examples
 to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem.
first
Linking Words
 of all, international
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
 related to providing
food
Use synonyms
 should have
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
 facilities and transportation system to transport
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
elemants
Correct your spelling
elements
element
 from
countries
Use synonyms
 produced more than there need to poorer
nations
Use synonyms
. if they do
this
Linking Words
 job with less
amount
Use synonyms
 of financial
resorses
Correct your spelling
resources
, many people would
purches
Correct your spelling
purchase
 them.
secondly
Linking Words
, developed
nations
Use synonyms
 should
transformtheir
Correct your spelling
transform their
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 and technologies
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another nation
other nations
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
 with
sutable
Correct your spelling
suitable
stable
 natural sources and teach them to be independent by producing suitable types of
food
Use synonyms
. the more they can
be stay
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
 on
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own feet, the
greather
Correct your spelling
greater
 the chance of we can root out
houngry
Correct your spelling
hungry
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
sitizens
Correct your spelling
citizens
. in
Correct your spelling
summary
show examples
summery
Correct your spelling
summary
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 there are
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
cause
Change to a plural noun
causes
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
queation
Correct your spelling
question
 and if international societies try to solve
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 hand- in hand it may be possible with
soloutions
Correct your spelling
solutions
mantioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 above.
Submitted by par206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: