IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Unemployment has become an increasing problem in the recent past. What factors contribute to an increase in unemployment and what steps can be taken to solve the problem?

#unemployment #factors #steps
During the
last
 5 to 10 years, unemployment has become a great question to many countries as it is on an upward trend.
This
 essay will
first
 explain the factors contributing to the increase and will provide what action we should take to reduce it. While I was searching on Google I noticed that there are many reasons contributing to
this
 issue. If we carefully examine the above factors, we should be able to find solutions to each and every item. Taking
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 point into consideration, we need system automation and developments but
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 we cannot bypass the human touch in everything. Let me give an example. Interactive voice response (IVR) is a very famous technology, but Customers still waiting for operators’ assistance. We have to encourage many people to start their own business in order to provide many job opportunities, which in return will in result economic growth. The government
that is
 in power should provide proper infrastructure and a helping hand to these kinds of new Businessmen's to grow their businesses. It is always better to restructure our education and training to align with the labour market. ,
,,,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Currently
Add a comma
,Currently
show examples
 we see a huge job demand in some areas
such
 as plumbing, carpentering work and automobile workers etc... These skills are not being taught in a classroom. One of the recent surveys has proved that many skilled individuals are migrating to other countries for better prospects. In
this
 ,case the governments in
such
 countries should have a proper process to take care of these experts and give them more benefits. All in ,all I believe, though there is an increase in unemployment we can always look for resolutions. Especially the Government authorities should be vigilant and provide suitable solutions timely and effectively.
Submitted by nalindaliyanage on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: