IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
Volunteering helps in various aspects, some argue that
teenagers
 must do volunteering in their free time and that it is beneficial to both the
teenagers
 and their communities. in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree, for a couple of reasons that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 shall discuss. unpaid community work can be helpful to
teenagers
,
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 enabling them to learn new skills, be exposed to
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 environment, develop their personality and perhaps even make a career choice.
although
, they might complain, utilizing free time to actually be useful grants a sense of accomplishment.
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 by filling free time with serving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
closes the door on harmful activities, which
teenagers
 are the most prone to,
such
 as crime and illicit drug addiction.
similarly
, volunteering has positive effects on communities. In regards to
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 budget, and resources as well as the public image (
for example
 : cleaning beaches). as well as the additive effects of decreasing crime rates and addiction. the regular activity of volunteering makes a healthy community,
that is
 active
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and stable. it
also
 helps with better outcomes for the environment, health system, and safety. in
summary
Add a comma
,summary
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 wouldn’t say teens should be required
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but rather encouraged to participate actively in unpaid community work.
Submitted by abozaid132 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: