IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #purchase #product
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Nowadays,
marketing
Correct article usage
the marketing
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 of each and every product is increasing. A section of society believes that individuals are buying
products
Use synonyms
 based on their requirements and there is no need
of
Change preposition
for
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advertisement
Use synonyms
. I tend to agree with
this
Linking Words
 view. I am of the opinion that
products
Use synonyms
 can be purchased on basis of necessity.
Linking Words
Further
Add a comma
,Further
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 the discourse ahead will support my stand and at the same time highlight contradictory
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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 that might others have.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the primary reason for my belief is that
products
Use synonyms
 must be bought on necessity if the advertising is removed than 90% of
people
Use synonyms
 buy
products
Use synonyms
 when they will be required because the deals and offers provided by big supermarkets grab the attention of buyers, they purchase items just by seeing the deals not by they required it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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 will be removed
people
Use synonyms
 will save more money because
large
Add an article
a large
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 portion of their income goes into paying bills. To illustrate, the article on buying shows that half of
income
Add an article
the income
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 individuals spending on buying different things.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are individuals in the society who are of the outlook that
advertisement
Use synonyms
 is required one of the possible reasons for
this
Linking Words
 belief is that, if advertising will be stopped it will have
effect
Add an article
an effect
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 on consumers of
big
Add an article
the big
a big
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 supermarket and
people
Use synonyms
 who are working there. Because if
people
Use synonyms
 do not buy more
products
Use synonyms
 from their store their profit goes down, they have to face big loss in their business. To conclude, there surely are those who
seems
Change the verb form
seem
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 to be convinced with the fact that
advertisement
Use synonyms
 is needed and they assumingly have all the right reasons to back their conviction. I,
however
Linking Words
, am of the firm opinion that
advertisement
Use synonyms
 is not required because that lead to impulsive buying.
Submitted by poojagondaliya121298 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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