"Prevention is better than cure."Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Better diet, preventive measures, genetic manipulation and easy assess to the health care system have increased the longevity of the general population.
Therefore
, it is suggested that the government
should allocate more fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
on
health education and preventive medicine. I fully agree with Change preposition
to
this
assertion, and by
analysing the benefits of healthy pursuits Change preposition
apply
such
as better diet and regular exercise, as well as abandonment
of unhealthy habits e.g. smoking, convenience food and Add an article
the abandonment
an abandonment
sedentary
lifestyle will prove it.
It is undeniable that healthy pursuits prolong the longevity of individuals. By allocating a share sum of Add an article
a sedentary
fund
for preventive purposes, the Fix the agreement mistake
funds
government
will not only invest in it's
population but Replace the word
its
also
save money which
would Correct pronoun usage
that
otherwise
be used to
expensive treatments and lost productivity. Change preposition
for
For instance
, in several research studies, a better diet has shown
to reduce Add a missing verb
been shown
likelihood
of physical ailments Add an article
the likelihood
such
as diabetic
, heart diseases and even cancer. Not only Replace the word
diabetes
the
body metabolism increases by regular exercises, but Add a missing verb
does the
also
the levels of stress and depression alleviate. Thus
, the suggestion is fully supported that a proportion of fund
should be diverted Fix the agreement mistake
funds
on
preventive measures which Change preposition
to
is
Change the verb form
are
additionally
more cost-benificial
.
Correct your spelling
beneficial
Although
smoking habits have been declined over the last
two decades because of the ban, convenience food and the sedentary lifestyle have become a ubiquitous part of this
contemporary society. People are more
unhealthier than ever, and there are predictions that Change the word
apply
this
development only going to exacerbate in the foreseenable
future. Correct your spelling
foreseeable
For example
, the documentary, "Supersize me", reveals that unhealthy food combined with the lack of exercise seldom lead to obesity. Related diseases such
as fatty liver and diabetic
are some of Replace the word
diabetes
ailments
that Add an article
the ailments
moves
in tandem with Change the verb form
move
the
obesity. It is well-known that obese individuals are less likely to be employed and Correct article usage
apply
thus
constitute a greater burden to society. Hence
, the government
ought to raise awareness about the danger of unhealthy
lifestyle through investment in health educations and campaigns.
In summary, it is evident that putting money in prevention than cure is a win-win investment for everyone. ICorrect article usage
an unhealthy
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
therefore
agree with this
proposition that the government
should allocate their fund
in
preventive medicine rather than paying for costly treatment.Change preposition
to
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