All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults #rise

Over the

last

few years, obesity has become a serious problem. These days, obesity affects an increasing number of both kids and mature people. Causes of overweight must be considered and addressed effectively;

otherwise

, societies will suffer from even greater health problems. In

this

essay, I will look at the causes of

this

issue and make some suggestions about how to tackle it. One of the main reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

being overweight is the high intake of junk

food

such

as hamburgers, chips, and fried chicken. Many people prefer to have a takeaway meal or pick up pre-prepared

food

from the supermarket, which contains high quantities of salt and fat, rather than cooking a healthy meal at home.

For instance

, in the UK, sales of junk

food

have risen significantly over the

last

few years. The solution is for the government to increase the sales tax on any

food

that is

considered to be unhealthy.

This

would make consumers decrease their intake of

this

type of

food

and start to make a healthy portion of homemade

food

Moreover

, another problem is that fewer and fewer people are doing sports and exercise.

This

is because of the high expenses of registration in a gym.

For example

, the monthly fees of gyms in Australia are around 40 or 50 dollars, which is very difficult to afford for many. To address

this

, the government should allocate more money for sports facilities

such

as gyms to become more affordable.

On the other hand

, a person may start yoga with full dedication, if they cannot pay

such

money. To sum up, obesity has become a worrying issue which is affecting a wide range of age groups, due to reasons,

such

as working hours, cooking issues.

This

is a serious problem,

consequently

, actions must be taken straight away,

otherwise

, generations will face even more significant health problems. I believe the government, parents, and teachers may play the best role to control

this

issue.

Submitted by Jennybhullar1 on Sun Aug 29 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Overweight
Epidemic
Sedentary
Processed food
Fast food
Nutritional education
Awareness
Stress
Emotional eating
Genetic factors
Access
Healthy food options
Marketing
Urbanization
Lifestyles

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food raher than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food.

some people think the Olympic Games are an existing event that can bring nations together. Others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that qualities a person needs to become succesfull in today's world cannot be learned at university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individual responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some old people today struggle with the use of modern techonologies such as smartphones and computers. What is the cause of this? What are some possible solutions?