IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
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In recent days, social
media
 is turning
into
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apply
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sharply popular amongst older and younger
people
.
However
, social
media
 websites have many risks to those
people
 who are sharing their
information
 online.
The
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In the
show examples
 following paragraphs I will discuss what are the disadvantages of sharing personal
information
 online on social
media
.
To begin
 with, social networking has many disadvantages.
Firstly
,
people
 who are sharing their
information
 on the internet
they
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apply
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always
face
 risks because their identity has been
Correct your spelling
stolen
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stolon
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stolen
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 and use
it
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apply
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in bad ways.
For example
, their
information
 might use it in
political
Add an article
the political
show examples
situation
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situations
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 and
this
 issue could be
danger
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dangerous
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 and they
face
 punishment from the government.
Secondly
,
people
 who share their personal
information
face
 bullying on
the
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apply
show examples
social networking of different ages especially younger
people
. To illustrate, a renowned public magazine
publish
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publishes
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 that the psychologists found that many younger
people
 who are
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of
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in different
Correct your spelling
indifferent
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 ages between 15 to 20 years suffer
anxious
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anxiety
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 and depression because they
face
 bullying from their peers on social
media
 just
because
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ofbecause
show examples
 their
information
 on public.
On the other hand
,
people
 who are posting their personal
information
also
 they possibly exposed stolen their credit card.
For instance
, anyone could use their
information
 and contact
with
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apply
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the bank and withdrawal money and sometimes might
borrowed
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borrow
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 money which could be difficult to catch the person who did that, and the bank is not
responsibility
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responsible
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 in
this
 case. To sum up, sharing personal
information
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 exposed
people
 to prosecution and thefts. I really think that posting personal
information
 has many disadvantages more than the advantages
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Global communication
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Personal growth
  • Career advancement
  • Privacy concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Misinformation
  • Crisis
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