IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#directors #managers #organizations #people #leaders
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a common situation in companies the most vital positions like CEO and managers have been taken by the senior
nation
, some people argue that if
this
 situation could change to the young
generation
 being in charge, it will lead the group to have better growth.
This
 essay is totally agreed with the statement and going to explain why. There are several factors to support my point of view.
First
 of all, I believe young
generation
 has bigger ambition and vision on they are career, it has benefits for the group future, because they are young and has less afraid than the older
nation
. They will insist on gold and nothing can stop them to achieve their aim and vision. If they had been given important positions, they would help the group on another level with the big ambition and vision.
Second
, converted to the older
generation
 young
nation
 have more abilities to lead the organization better, because most of them had the up-to-date knowledge they trained by the new education system.
Therefore
, they can adapt and address the issues that come up nowadays.
For instance
, they can use the internet to promote the organization
thus
 increase its value, which the older
generation
 would not be able to do.
Moreover
, compared to the senior
nation
 the young
generation
 has more energy which means they are able to work longer and much efficient than the siner people. And
also
, as they are more dynamic
thus
 makes the business working atmosphere is greater than the older
nation leading
Add a hyphen
nation-leading
show examples
 if they were given the leder or manager job. To sum up, due to the young
generation
 has bigger ambition, up-to-date education and better energy to lead the party toward to have better future, I believe that the young
nation
 is the best suit the vital position
such
 as leader and manager even the CEO.
Submitted by fankie.cecil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: