Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are various kinds of thrilling

activities

differing from regular athletic

activities

in recent times. Some claim that risky

sports

should be prohibited while others argue that it depends on the choice of an individual. From my perspective, it is necessary to limit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unsafe actions.

This

essay will elucidate both sides of the argument with examples. There are several benefits to restricting daring acts.

First

of all, it can prevent disabilities and deaths derived from careless participation as some partake in unfamiliar

activities

without proper consideration of the consequences.

For instance

, bungee jumping is a thrilling game where you can experience falling from a height. Though it seems fun, on some occasions, people suffer serious injuries in their ankles and spines.

Secondly

, it promotes

Change preposition

apply

show examples

enjoying safe

sports

. People are encouraged to take part in regular

activities

such

as swimming, hiking, and jogging when uncommon

sports

are not permitted.

Therefore

, I believe it is appropriate to block citizens from taking hazardous actions.

On the contrary

, many believe that everyone should be given the authority to decide since they find enjoyment out of it. They claim that normal

sports

and

activities

are boring whereas thrilling

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

not only give them excitement and adrenaline but

also

give them a memorable experience. Sky diving and paragliding are some examples of hazardous acts that offer adults an unforgettable feeling and a different view from above the ground. In conclusion, banning

Change preposition

apply

show examples

harmful athletic games can protect people from casualties and increase

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

of regular

sports

Although

people’s choices matter, the risks are too high compared to the chances of unforeseen outcomes. It would be fitting for the authorities to spread awareness to young men and women regarding

this

phenomenon.

Submitted by chitsundi on Mon Aug 30 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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