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Band 4.5

Some countries are handing over public services such as hospitals, railways and education to private companies to be run for commercial profit. Are governments justified in letting private profit manage the public interest?

#countries #services #hospitals #railways #education #companies #profit #governments #interest
Privatization
 is the transfer of
government
 functions to private
sectors
. Nowadays, different states are increasingly privatizing
government
sectors
 to operate them
in
Correct your spelling
inefficient
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efficient
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an efficient
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 manner. According to my point of view, these issues could be resolved by setting up proper rules and regulations and it will help
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
inevitable progress of the country. On one hand, some people claim that
privatization
 of public
sectors
 will produce less fruitful results for citizens. Because these
sectors
 have an objective of serving the people. By
privatization
Add a comma
,privatization
show examples
 the purpose of
government
 to assist citizens will be diminished.
Moreover
, the greed for high profit will directly affect the cost which in turn have
unnecessary
Add an article
an unnecessary
the unnecessary
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 burden on individuals.
Secondly
, education is something which is dearer to the students than the fine opals, if
state run
Add a hyphen
state-run
show examples
 schools will be privatized many scholars will be left unturned.
On the other hand
, there are certain benefits of
privatization
 that cannot be ignored. In
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
government
sectors
privatization
 can help to prevent political influence. As that have hired
non- eligible
Correct your spelling
non-eligible
show examples
 staff because of nepotism,
this
 staff act as
white
Add an article
a white
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 elephant and do not perform their duties and responsibilities deliberately. By
privatization
Add a comma
,privatization
show examples
 the rate of corruption in
such
 settings will be declined.
For example
,
a
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apply
show examples
recent research
illustrate
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illustrates
show examples
 that by privatizing driver license
center
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centre
show examples
 the rate of accidents
have
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has
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 been decreased.
Furthermore
, the effectiveness of these
sectors
 will
also
 be enhanced.
For instance
,
last
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the last
show examples
 survey in Pakistan proved that the death rate in private hospitals is minimum as
compare
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compared
show examples
 to
government
 hospitals. To recapitulates,
Privatization
contribute
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contributes
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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 the progress of the country and it should be on the table. The concerns of the public should be resolved by the
government
 by following proper rules and regulations.
Submitted by mharis083 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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