People have been arguing that protecting animals hurt them, some people hold the idea that keeping animals in zoos have some advantages , I personally agree with animals should be kept inside zoos , In the following paragraph I explain my view point

On one
hand
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,hand
show examples
people think that
,
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apply
show examples
animals
are under threat from humans because of cutting trees and hunting
animals
. When
animals
are kept in captivity in
zoos
we destroy their natural life , but
animals
kept inside
Correct article usage
the zoo
show examples
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
cant behave naturally ,
for
example
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,example
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lions kept in
cage
Fix the agreement mistake
cages
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cant move freely , whereas lions in
Add an article
the forest
a forest
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forest
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forests
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can movie freely they catch
there
Correct your spelling
their
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own prey . many individuals are against
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
because of the horrifying conditions of many
zoos
around the world especially in
under
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underdeveloped
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developed
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a developed
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country
on the other
hand
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,hand
show examples
people believe that
,
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apply
show examples
Zoo
is
the
Correct article usage
a
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safe place for
animals
from hunters who hunt them for meals , dress and for
other commercial purpose
Change the wording
another commercial purpose
other commercial purposes
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
tigers are being killed for skin in
black
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the black
show examples
market . It
also
protect
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protects
show examples
endangered
animals
from extinction ,
For example
.
zoos
provide opportunities for people to have contact with wild
animals
like tiger
lion
Fix the agreement mistake
lions
show examples
to see in
live
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life
show examples
only through
zoos
.
Moreover
, they help in educating
public
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the public
show examples
about the
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
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behaviour and
also
in research To conclude with , It is not possible to close all the
zoo
just because few incidents of abusive acts against
animals
in
some place
Correct your spelling
someplace
show examples
, even
through
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
there has been some negative effect , I could say that
zoo
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the key to protect
animals
from danger
Submitted by nitsam3 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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