Some people think it s good for teenagers to have part time jobs, while other people believe teenagers should not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Undoubtedly, everyone should start doing a job to make a living. Even
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rich,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should know how to manage their
money
and properties.
Although
many
people
think that
teens
are not expected to
work
, some other individuals including myself strongly believe that they will have a lot of benefits if they develop strong
work
ethics from their childhood. Regarding why
teens
should not
work
,
people
think that they will lose their
valueble
Correct your spelling
valuable
time when engaging with temporary
jobs
. As they think, time spent on
jobs
can be spent on studying or playing which will be more beneficial for them on a long-term basis.
Furthermore
, these
jobs
may not be the ones
parents
wanted to their children to do in the future. Because nowadays
parents
need their children to do well-paid and well-recognized
jobs
like in the field of engineering or medicine.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
I think still these students can achieve those goals if they can achieve a balance between
work
and study. Talking about
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of engaging with part-time
jobs
during studies, that will help not only for
teens
but
also
for their
parents
since teenagers can earn their pocket
money
.
For example
, students do not need to ask
money
Change preposition
for money
show examples
from their guardians when they want to buy simple items
such
as books, pens even toys.
Moreover
,
teens
can plan
thier
Correct your spelling
their
carrier from an early age and can find part-time
jobs
that are
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
to their future targets. If children can be familiar with working environment as
quckly
Correct your spelling
quickly
as possible, they will
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
all their life goals much faster which make sure that they will have enough
money
when they reach their retirement age.
Parents
and teachers can
also
help them by showing
the
Correct pronoun usage
them the
show examples
best methods of finding appropriate part-time
jobs
. In conclusion, even though some
people
think that young
people
should not
work
, I
thoughrouly
Correct your spelling
thoughtfully
believe that they should start doing part-time
jobs
. Building qualities and skills that are vital to be a successful person, as much as early will help
teens
immensly
Correct your spelling
immensely
.
Submitted by nilankagw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: