Some people think that internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Most
people
Use synonyms
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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that
worldwide
Correct article usage
a worldwide
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network has
build
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built
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a wide range of communication
within
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among
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people
Use synonyms
,
while
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others anticipate that folks and localities
became
Wrong verb form
have become
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remote. Here, I will be discussing both views and give my opinion in the below paragraphs.
Firstly
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, In the modern era, computer networking has been increasing day by day. As there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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sufficient use in
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overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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world, through
internet
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
can communicate efficiently.
This
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is the source of interaction between the
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who lives
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lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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in various cities.In the past, we used
mails
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mail
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and telephones to communicate throughout the globe. But now
Change preposition
apply
show examples
through
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apply
show examples
the invention of the
internet
Use synonyms
allows us to reach everyone in just
Correct article usage
a
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Correct article usage
a
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few seconds. The inconvenience of long-distance communication is eliminated through
this
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. There are numerous ways
for conveying
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to convey
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things
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For
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, For
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example,
Whatsapp
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WhatsApp
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, Skype, Instagram,
Facetime
Correct word choice
and Facetime
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. It has definitely raised the way of interacting with
people
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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,
this
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technology development has its drawbacks. As tech is massively increasing
people
Use synonyms
have their own platforms, where they might be comfortable in
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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. Persons in their own communities meet online through Facebook, Snapchat etc. Without interactions in community
hall
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halls
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or
residence
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residences
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. From children to
adults
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adults,
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all are isolated by
this
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behaviour.
For instance
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,
In
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apply
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a recent study in 2016 by the
world
Correct your spelling
World Internet Organization
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internet
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organization observed that 95% of teenagers aged 17-18 have a social media presence, more than three or two accounts. In conclusion, in my ,opinion
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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brings
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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together, as it makes socialising and
work
Change the verb form
works
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much easier for
work from home
Add a hyphen
work-from-home
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workers. It is a fact that the
internet
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has brought more convenience into society and allowed many
people
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to be closer.
However
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,
people
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should take responsibility to balance the use of the
internet
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so that other aspects of their lives will not become neglected.
Submitted by tassajay93 on

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task response
Work on providing a more focused and balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. Ensure that each paragraph relates clearly to the overall argument and offers a clear and relevant point.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the structure of the essay by providing a clear introduction that introduces the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Additionally, ensure that there is a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and offers a clear opinion.
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