Some people think that internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #internet #communities

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Most

people

Use synonyms

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that

worldwide

Correct article usage

a worldwide

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network has

build

Change the verb form

built

show examples

a wide range of communication

within

Change preposition

among

show examples

people

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others anticipate that folks and localities

became

Wrong verb form

have become

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remote. Here, I will be discussing both views and give my opinion in the below paragraphs.

Firstly

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, In the modern era, computer networking has been increasing day by day. As there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sufficient use in

Linking Words

overall

Correct article usage

the overall

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world, through

internet

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

can communicate efficiently.

This

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is the source of interaction between the

people

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

who lives

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lives

Correct subject-verb agreement

live

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in various cities.In the past, we used

mails

Fix the agreement mistake

mail

show examples

and telephones to communicate throughout the globe. But now

Change preposition

apply

show examples

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the invention of the

internet

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allows us to reach everyone in just

Correct article usage

show examples

Correct article usage

show examples

few seconds. The inconvenience of long-distance communication is eliminated through

this

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. There are numerous ways

for conveying

Change preposition

to convey

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things

Linking Words

For

Add the comma(s)

, For

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example,

Correct your spelling

show examples

, Skype, Instagram,

Facetime

Correct word choice

and Facetime

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. It has definitely raised the way of interacting with

people

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Secondly

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this

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technology development has its drawbacks. As tech is massively increasing

people

Use synonyms

have their own platforms, where they might be comfortable in

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

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. Persons in their own communities meet online through Facebook, Snapchat etc. Without interactions in community

hall

Fix the agreement mistake

halls

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residence

Fix the agreement mistake

residences

show examples

. From children to

adults

Add a comma

adults,

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all are isolated by

this

Linking Words

behaviour.

For instance

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a recent study in 2016 by the

world

Correct your spelling

World Internet Organization

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internet

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organization observed that 95% of teenagers aged 17-18 have a social media presence, more than three or two accounts. In conclusion, in my ,opinion

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

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brings

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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together, as it makes socialising and

work

Change the verb form

works

show examples

much easier for

work from home

Add a hyphen

work-from-home

show examples

workers. It is a fact that the

internet

Use synonyms

has brought more convenience into society and allowed many

people

Use synonyms

to be closer.

However

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people

Use synonyms

should take responsibility to balance the use of the

internet

Use synonyms

so that other aspects of their lives will not become neglected.

Submitted by tassajay93 on Wed Sep 01 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Work on providing a more focused and balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. Ensure that each paragraph relates clearly to the overall argument and offers a clear and relevant point.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the structure of the essay by providing a clear introduction that introduces the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Additionally, ensure that there is a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and offers a clear opinion.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Some people think that internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. WHy is this?Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Some people believe that sports are an essential part of school life for children while you should give reasons for your answers and include. ideas and examples

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?