IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #families #arguments #side #support
While some
people
 believe that parental
time
 is important and children should spend their leisure
time
 with them. Others oppose it and considered it unnecessary.
This
 essay will discuss both arguments in depth.
However
, as in my opinion, family
time
 is essential and youngsters ought to spend some
time
 with their families. To commence with, the influences of a family is vital for a child and even more required when they live with their
parents
, foster parent, and, guardians. There are many reasons for same;
firstly
, young
people
 will learn code of conduct;
moreover
, behavioural ethics to deal with
people
.
Therefore
, it is advisable for
parents
 to spend some
time
 with their infants.
For example
, it will help the
parents
 to know about the peer of their baby and it will help them to understand about the child surrounding.
Thus
, it is considered that after school care is significant and will decrease the chance of a baby to involve in victim crimes
such
 as truancy, bullying and several more. On the flip side, a number of
people
 assume that it is unnecessary because youth can assume that their families are interfering in their personal lives.
In addition
, it will increase the chance of youngsters staying alone. To exemplify, in developed countries, children stay apart from their
parents
 as they want to live independently.
Thus
, they considered it a negative
practise
Replace the word
practice
show examples
 and unnecessary to spend
time
 with their family. To conclude, it appears that family bonding is vital and it will help to understand build bonding and behaviour patterns of your members;
therefore
, it is advisable for
parents
-children to spend some
time
 with each other.
Furthermore
, there are
further
 advantages when children are outside the family too as it provides the information that they are safe.
Submitted by niksmd1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: