IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #job #employers #value #work
Some
people
 believe that successful graduation from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university is the best way to get a dream job.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
 some
people
 argue, that work experience is more important than a university degree. In the following essay, I would like to evaluate both views and share my own opinion.
To begin
, in many countries all over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe it was believed for decades, that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 diploma is the only way to secure a family for life. Due to the rough history,
people
 valued the opportunity to study at the college, which led to a significant increase in the number of
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
graduets
Correct your spelling
graduates
 in the past decade. At
first
, governments and companies were thrilled, but it soon turned out, that these
people
 leave school at the age of 25 and have no experience in the real world. Meanwhile, there suddenly is a lot of well-educated
people
, governments of particular countries are facing another problem. There is a lack of experienced workers with certain skills. A strange situation has
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 recently.
People
 who work with their hands suddenly earn more money than those, who studied
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 best business schools.
Submitted by kmiksikova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: