Developed countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in their contribution to global warming. Why is global warming a problem? What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming?

In
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
epoch,
sports
play a pivotal role in our daily life.Many
people
endorse that
team
sports
are more beneficial for players,yet others are of
concrete
Add an article
the concrete

The noun phrase concrete belief seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
belief that
sports
which
Correct pronoun usage
that

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
are played individually have superior advantages. In
this
essay, I would side with the latter view for a multitude of justifications. On the one hand, there are sufficient grounds to argue that taking part in
sports
that require teamwork is advantageous.
To begin
with, playing
team
sports
requires participants to cooperate with other teammates, which can help them foster a sense of teamwork.
For example
, in a football match, players in a
team
have to work together to put the ball into the opponent’s net.As the result, synergy among the individual members can lead to the victory of the whole
team
.
In addition
, playing
sports
in teams can help
people
develop their relationships in society.To clarify,they have great chances to meet new
people
and make new friends .
As a result
,they can expand
social
Correct pronoun usage
their social

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
circle, which is highly beneficial to their career.
On the other hand
,from my personal perspective,I strongly advocate that participating in individual
sports
has more advantages.
Firstly
,
people
who choose to play solo
sports
have the opportunity to develop self-reliance in lieu of depending on others.
For instance
, when a player wants to win a match of tennis, he has to try his hardest as there is no one else to rely on.
Therefore
, individuals would learn how to overcome bigger obstacles in life by themselves.
Secondly
,as
people
play
sports
alone, it is easier for them to maintain a regular training schedule. If they play
sports
with a number of other players, it will be difficult to avoid conflict in arranging weekly sessions that everyone can find the time to attend. In conclusion, while
team
sports
bring about undeniable benefits, I believe
people
should devote more of their spare time to playing individual
sports
.
Submitted by sonvu2122 on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: