IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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due to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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globalization, nowadays it is far easier for individuals to acquire knowledge about other nations artwork and history as if they reserve and give historical information of native countries. while some people believe that art buildings should only gather data of local works rather than other provinces, but I oppose
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 view because they provide us unique material and
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

also
Add a missing verb
are also

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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 helpful for our economy. to commence with,
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 upgrading in the galleries is imperative because they accelerate the pace of interest and awareness about the other culture and history in people . they acquire an abundance of data from these , which led to
broadening
Correct article usage
the broadening

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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 of their horizon, albeit they feel more connected to them and provide respect when they learn about other cultures. to illustrate ,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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 museum Kolkatta , restore the 45000 years old Egyptian mummy and
other unique animal skeleton
Change the wording
another unique animal skeleton
other unique animal skeletons

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun skeleton. Consider making a change.

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.
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the more variety of materials they collect, the more the spectators will come which can enhance their thinking.
furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 crucial for the economical growth of the nation. as children always listen from their elders about the history, masterpiece ,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 they will show less interest in the museums. but if they have divergent details about the other foreign state ,
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles

It seems that juvenile may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 get attracted to them resulting ,
more
Change preposition
in more

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 schools , parents will arrange trips to look that unique material, will buy more tickets.
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Leonardo de Caprio was an Italian painter who was famous
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide

The word world wide seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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 for his artwork and
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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his artwork is preserved in France
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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is mona Lisa painting which attracts people from all over the globe.
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 , to boost up the economy to some aspect , for the maintenance of the galleries , they must have to be unique. in conclusion, I strongly believe , that to reap the benefits from
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 buildings they must have uplift their standards so that they can be more functional and famous in the world.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • local culture
  • traditions
  • tourists
  • economic impact
  • cultural exchange
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • educational experience
  • art movements
  • historical events
  • balance
  • feasible
  • sustainable
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