Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization, nowadays it is far easier for individuals to acquire knowledge about other nations artwork and history as if they reserve and give historical information of native countries. while some people believe that art buildings should only gather data of local works rather than other provinces, but I oppose
this
view because they provide us unique material and
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
helpful for our economy. to commence with,
firstly
upgrading in the galleries is imperative because they accelerate the pace of interest and awareness about the other culture and history in people . they acquire an abundance of data from these , which led to
broadening
Correct article usage
the broadening
show examples
of their horizon, albeit they feel more connected to them and provide respect when they learn about other cultures. to illustrate ,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
museum Kolkatta , restore the 45000 years old Egyptian mummy and
other unique animal skeleton
Change the wording
another unique animal skeleton
other unique animal skeletons
show examples
.
thus
, the more variety of materials they collect, the more the spectators will come which can enhance their thinking.
furthermore
, it is
also
crucial for the economical growth of the nation. as children always listen from their elders about the history, masterpiece ,
hence
they will show less interest in the museums. but if they have divergent details about the other foreign state ,
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
get attracted to them resulting ,
more
Change preposition
in more
show examples
schools , parents will arrange trips to look that unique material, will buy more tickets.
for example
, Leonardo de Caprio was an Italian painter who was famous
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
for his artwork and
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his artwork is preserved in France
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is mona Lisa painting which attracts people from all over the globe.
thus
, to boost up the economy to some aspect , for the maintenance of the galleries , they must have to be unique. in conclusion, I strongly believe , that to reap the benefits from
such
buildings they must have uplift their standards so that they can be more functional and famous in the world.
Submitted by sandhusimran570 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • local culture
  • traditions
  • tourists
  • economic impact
  • cultural exchange
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • educational experience
  • art movements
  • historical events
  • balance
  • feasible
  • sustainable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: