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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? And suggest some solutions.

#people #cities #exercise
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In today's world ,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in urban areas do not get enough
time
Use synonyms
 for their fitness., we will put forward some of the reasons which create
this
Linking Words
 kind of situation
Initially
Linking Words
, Urban
people
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 like the modern lifestyle and for that, they are doing unnecessary hard work. They are unable to take out some leisure
time
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 from their busy schedule to get relax or do some exercise. Modern men and women are too much stressed , they
never
Add a missing verb
are never
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 satisfied with their achievements and growth. They always want more in their life and forget about their health . As per survey in
time
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 of India newspaper ,That the cities
people
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 not that much fit due to
this
Linking Words
 health disease are more common in metro cities , Another cause is there is less room for urban
people
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 to go there and do exercise cities contribute to the constructions of buildings, mall , offices and accommodation
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
Linking Words
 there is no space for
playground
Add an article
a playground
the playground
show examples
 for
people
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 to get involved in sports activities there are several ways for urban residents to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
First
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, they should suggest the governments spend the funding parks, sidewalks and walkways which are full of various species of plants.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will find doing physical exercises enjoyable as they have a chance to be in
such
Linking Words
 relaxing places.
Second
Linking Words
, the dwellers themselves have to balance work and entertainment, so that they can comfortably play sports without concerning about the heavy workload To conclude
with
Change preposition
apply
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,
This
Linking Words
 trend of not
enough
Add a missing verb
having enough
show examples
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
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 and humans’ being too busy should be resolved soon .
However
Linking Words
, it can be solved by providing more pleasant public parks and spending less
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work.
Submitted by nitsam3 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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