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Band 4.5

Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? And suggest some solutions.

#people #cities #exercise
In today's world ,
people
 who live in urban areas do not get enough
time
 for their fitness., we will put forward some of the reasons which create
this
 kind of situation
Initially
, Urban
people
 like the modern lifestyle and for that, they are doing unnecessary hard work. They are unable to take out some leisure
time
 from their busy schedule to get relax or do some exercise. Modern men and women are too much stressed , they
never
Add a missing verb
are never
show examples
 satisfied with their achievements and growth. They always want more in their life and forget about their health . As per survey in
time
 of India newspaper ,That the cities
people
 not that much fit due to
this
 health disease are more common in metro cities , Another cause is there is less room for urban
people
 to go there and do exercise cities contribute to the constructions of buildings, mall , offices and accommodation
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
 there is no space for
playground
Add an article
a playground
the playground
show examples
 for
people
 to get involved in sports activities there are several ways for urban residents to solve
this
 problem.
First
, they should suggest the governments spend the funding parks, sidewalks and walkways which are full of various species of plants.
Hence
,
people
 will find doing physical exercises enjoyable as they have a chance to be in
such
 relaxing places.
Second
, the dwellers themselves have to balance work and entertainment, so that they can comfortably play sports without concerning about the heavy workload To conclude
with
Change preposition
apply
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,
This
 trend of not
enough
Add a missing verb
having enough
show examples
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
 and humans’ being too busy should be resolved soon .
However
, it can be solved by providing more pleasant public parks and spending less
time
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work.
Submitted by nitsam3 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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