IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

#universities #numbers #students #experiences
In higher
education
, institutes should accept both genders equally in all kinds of
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
 with
this
 idea.
Firstly
, I will
expain
Correct your spelling
explain
 why I disagree with
this
 statement with some
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 and
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
 I will show some disadvantages of
equallisiom
Correct your spelling
equalism
 on all
Correct your spelling
subjects
show examples
subjets
Correct your spelling
subjects
show examples
.
To begin
 with, in higher
education
 quality is
first
 priority so that most of the university focus on
qualityful
Correct your spelling
quality
students
 rather than
gender
. But some people want to see
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 numbers of male and female
students
 in all subjects, which is not a better idea.
First
 of all, most of the learners want their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
 subject.
Although
 it
is
Change the verb form
is varied
is varying
show examples
vary
Correct your spelling
very
show examples
to
Change preposition
between
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
. If any higher
education
 centre
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 equal
opptorite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 that will be
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 fear with good
students
.
For example
, traditionally male
students
 are choose
engineering
Correct article usage
the engineering
show examples
subjet
Correct your spelling
subject
show examples
 while
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 prefer medical related
subject
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subjects
show examples
. Because they are
expart
Correct your spelling
expert
experts
 on their particular interest. Another reason is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if we give a chance to less
qualityfull
Correct your spelling
quality full
students
 for maintaining same numbers of male and female
students
.
As a result
,
altimately
Correct your spelling
ultimately
 it will not get a better result after their
graduatation
Correct your spelling
graduation
.
Moreover
,
equal
Add an article
the equal
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 number is not
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 in
higher
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higher-level
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 because
gender
 can not play a big role in
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 of
education
.It is already proved that,
gender
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 a term. It has no
infuence
Correct your spelling
influence
 in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 sector. because at the end of the day we want
qualityfull
Correct your spelling
quality full
 doctor, engineer or scientist.
Students
 should get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 by their academic
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 or quality. In conclusion, higher
education
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
 should not give chance
accoring
Correct your spelling
according
 to genders. In
Add an article
the education
show examples
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
 sector quality is important rather than
gender
.
Submitted by rasel_beck on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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