IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People buy a product if it fulfills their needs; there is no need for advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#people #product #advertisement
It is widely believed that there is no purpose
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
advertisements
. And
consumers
 just buy
products
 that meet their needs. I totally disagree with
this
 statement. According to me, I believe that
advertisements
 provide information about the new upcoming
products
. In the
next
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
 I shall explain how
advertisements
 at times help to expand choices.
First
 of all,
advertisements
 benefit
consumers
 to see the new model of brands, they help to consider
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 of
products
 available in the market at affordable
prices
.
For instance
,
advertisements
 helped me to buy my current phone by encouraging me with their brilliant
advertisements
 that showed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very
attracting
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
prices
.
Similarly
, through
advertisements
, people buy
multi
Add a hyphen
multi-products
show examples
products
.
Second
 of all,
advertisements
 are beneficial for both sellers and
consumers
.
As a result
 of advertising, sellers promote their goods and services, and
consumers
 can know the information of
products
 including
prices
.
Moreover
, they help
consumers
 to make better decisions by seeing different
products
 and
prices
. They
also
 help businesses to grow and get attention.
Although
advertisements
 could be lies sometimes, they help to create awareness to see all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
advertisements
 so that
consumers
 can distinguish between the truth and lies.
Also
 to save money through offers that some
advertisements
 deliver. In conclusion, some companies lie about their
advertisements
. But I completely disagree that
advertisements
 do not serve people with their needs. Needless to say that there are good and bad
advertisements
. But
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 they play an important role in the community by spreading awareness amongst
consumers
 about
products
.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • awareness
  • functionality
  • existence
  • potential customers
  • demand
  • features
  • benefits
  • purchase decisions
  • perceived value
  • necessity
  • brand image
  • product perception
  • differentiate
  • crowded market
  • persuade
  • emotional responses
  • connection
  • multiple options
  • word-of-mouth
  • social media influence
  • marketing campaigns
  • positive word-of-mouth
  • inform
  • drive purchase decisions
  • superior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: