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Band 5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society
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Social
media
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 is popular for communication which is replacing a common interaction like face-to-face.
Personally
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,Personally
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 I think that it has a lot of benefits from using online
communicating
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communication
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 while there are
also
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 drawbacks but I believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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people
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 get from it outweighs
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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.
To begin
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 with, there are several profits
people
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 earn from using social
media
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 as a way
for
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of
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 interacting with others. It can be seen that applications these days offer more conveniences to contact with another person.
For example
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,
Facebook
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the Facebook
a Facebook
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 messenger is
most
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the most
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 famous option for contacting,
people
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 who have
an
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apply
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internet are able to send their messages to other
people
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 easily.
Moreover
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, online conferences are offering
people
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 who live in different parts of the world to have a meeting through their electronic devices,
such
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 as
smart phone
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smartphone
show examples
 and
computer
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computers
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.
Furthermore
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, according to the epidemic today, Covid-19 affect
to
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apply
show examples
face-to-face activities because there is a measure to have
social-distancing
Correct your spelling
social distancing
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,
therefore
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,
people
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 are not able to meet each other but the online method like zoom application is a choice for many activities,
such
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 as education and business meeting.
On the contrary
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, there are some drawbacks which are
minor
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a minor
the minor
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problem
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problems
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 acceptable and can be fixed easily.
Firstly
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,
people
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 who are contacting
with
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apply
show examples
others
by
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apply
show examples
online,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will have less interaction
to
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with
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 another one because social
media
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 can not show
a
Correct article usage
the
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 real personality of that person
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with who
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who
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whom
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 they are talking with. As the result, they will not be able to know what kind of those
people
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 really are.
This
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 is a lack of social
media
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 in communication which face-to-face has got it. To conclude,
although
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 there are some downsides that happen in
online
Change the article
an online
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 way to
communicating
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communication
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,
but
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apply
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the benefits seem to be outweighed according to the illustrated advantages.
Consequently
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, it can
bee
Correct your spelling
be
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seen
Add the auxiliary verb
is seen
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 that
people
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 can earn more benefits than drawbacks from social
media
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by thitiwatpava on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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