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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation
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In recent years, more and more young
people
Use synonyms
 in some countries are likely to apply for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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job training rather than enrolling
Use synonyms
university
Change preposition
on university
show examples
.
However
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, I strongly believe that the drawbacks of choosing to work overweigh the benefits. The positive aspect of doing a job is that young
people
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 could learn from a real working situation.
This
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 is because during
a
Change the article
an
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 on-the-job training period, they could face many problems which are never teach in a classroom and they have to solve these by themselves.
Although
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 training a job
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instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
show examples
 studying
university
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 has the plus point, it has several downturns.
To begin
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 with, young
people
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 who do not
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Change preposition
on university
show examples
 will never obtain various basic skills. A
university
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 provides different subjects and
compolsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 skills for
students
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, not only for their future career but
also
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 for their daily life.
University
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students
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 could have more
qualification
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qualifications
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 which most employers look for.
For example
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, many
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university
Change to a plural noun
universities
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 in Thailand
force
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forces
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students
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 to attend various language courses in the
first
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 year. Another drawback is that working young
people
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 are likely to have
less
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fewer
show examples
 friends in different careers. To explain,
university
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students
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 have more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
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 to make a connection with other
people
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 through classrooms, clubs and so on. It is not limited to have only
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 career friends.
For instance
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, there are
students
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 from various faculties in a
sportclub
Correct your spelling
sport club
. It is a good opportunity to keep in touch with them. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay feels that the cons of working
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instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
show examples
 studying
Use synonyms
university
Change preposition
at university
show examples
 clearly outweigh the pros. Some of
advantages
Add an article
the advantages
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 are that get various skills and having more friends.
Submitted by molwan_tae on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
What to do next:
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