In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

In recent years, more and more young

people

in some countries are likely to apply for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job training rather than enrolling

university

Change preposition

on university

show examples

However

, I strongly believe that the drawbacks of choosing to work overweigh the benefits. The positive aspect of doing a job is that young

people

could learn from a real working situation.

This

is because during

Change the article

show examples

on-the-job training period, they could face many problems which are never teach in a classroom and they have to solve these by themselves.

Although

training a job

instead

Add the preposition

ofinstead

show examples

studying

university

has the plus point, it has several downturns.

To begin

with, young

people

who do not

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

university

Change preposition

on university

show examples

will never obtain various basic skills. A

university

provides different subjects and

compolsary

Correct your spelling

compulsory

skills for

students

, not only for their future career but

also

for their daily life.

University

students

could have more

qualification

Fix the agreement mistake

qualifications

show examples

which most employers look for.

For example

, many

university

Change to a plural noun

universities

show examples

in Thailand

force

Change the verb form

forces

show examples

students

to attend various language courses in the

first

year. Another drawback is that working young

people

are likely to have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

friends in different careers. To explain,

university

students

have more

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

to make a connection with other

people

through classrooms, clubs and so on. It is not limited to have only

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

career friends.

For instance

, there are

students

from various faculties in a

sportclub

Correct your spelling

sport club

. It is a good opportunity to keep in touch with them. In conclusion,

this

essay feels that the cons of working

instead

Add the preposition

ofinstead

show examples

studying

university

Change preposition

at university

show examples

clearly outweigh the pros. Some of

advantages

Add an article

the advantages

show examples

are that get various skills and having more friends.

Submitted by molwan_tae on Thu Sep 02 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

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In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Smoking should be banned in public places because it not only harms the smokers, but also those who are nearby. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people use private motorbikes or cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?