In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

In recent years, more and more young

people

in some countries are likely to apply for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job training rather than enrolling

university

Change preposition

on university

show examples

However

, I strongly believe that the drawbacks of choosing to work overweigh the benefits. The positive aspect of doing a job is that young

people

could learn from a real working situation.

This

is because during

Change the article

show examples

on-the-job training period, they could face many problems which are never teach in a classroom and they have to solve these by themselves.

Although

training a job

instead

Add the preposition

ofinstead

show examples

studying

university

has the plus point, it has several downturns.

To begin

with, young

people

who do not

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

university

Change preposition

on university

show examples

will never obtain various basic skills. A

university

provides different subjects and

compolsary

Correct your spelling

compulsory

skills for

students

, not only for their future career but

also

for their daily life.

University

students

could have more

qualification

Fix the agreement mistake

qualifications

show examples

which most employers look for.

For example

, many

university

Change to a plural noun

universities

show examples

in Thailand

force

Change the verb form

forces

show examples

students

to attend various language courses in the

first

year. Another drawback is that working young

people

are likely to have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

friends in different careers. To explain,

university

students

have more

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

to make a connection with other

people

through classrooms, clubs and so on. It is not limited to have only

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

career friends.

For instance

, there are

students

from various faculties in a

sportclub

Correct your spelling

sport club

. It is a good opportunity to keep in touch with them. In conclusion,

this

essay feels that the cons of working

instead

Add the preposition

ofinstead

show examples

studying

university

Change preposition

at university

show examples

clearly outweigh the pros. Some of

advantages

Add an article

the advantages

show examples

are that get various skills and having more friends.

Submitted by molwan_tae on Thu Sep 02 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? What measures can you suggest to make it easier?
Most people have problems adjusting to situations in their lives and usually it is hard to cope with new situations in their lives. I think people should adjust to every recent situations in their lives and it is help them to live easily.
6.5
band
Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.
Climate change is among the principal dangers facing people this century, and ocean levels are increasing dramatically. This essay will first suggest that the biggest problems caused by this phenomenon are the loss of land and the flooding of homes and then argue that pollution reduction and building flood protection are the most viable solutions.
5.5
band
Write about the following topic: Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
There is an assumption that computers are the most significant invention since the 20th century. I believe this innovative devices bring many communication services and job opportunities into our lives, and I agree with their invention is potentially the most important one compared to others over a hundred years.
6
band
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?
Our dependency on the world wide web has changed our living patterns completely in this digital era. Although families are struggling hard to maintain social relationships with the advent of the web, they still gain an advantage of this technology in every sphere. In my opinion, the general public is far better off using this information superhighway despite the challenges they inevitably face.
6
band
Some people believe that the most important aspect of their job is their salary. Others think that the job itself is the most important. What do you think is the most important aspect of a job? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.
In today's modern era, employment plays a vital role in everyone' life. However, few factions of the society argue that job satisfaction has an utmost impact on an individual. On the other hand, others opine that monetary growth is what matters eventually. While I admit that a better pay-package has become indispensable; yet, in my opinion, a satisfactory job is a need of the hour. Hence, I will elucidate my views in the following essay.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? What measures can you suggest to make it easier?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

Some people believe that the most important aspect of their job is their salary. Others think that the job itself is the most important. What do you think is the most important aspect of a job? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.