The probability of an offender committing a crime after serving the first punishment has increased. What is the reason for this and how can this problem be tackled?

#probability #offender #crime #first #punishment #reason

Offenders who are released from

prison

after serving their

first

sentence are more likely to resort to committing

crimes

again. There are a number of reasons for

this

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and will suggest ways to solve

this

problem in

this

essay.

Firstly

, I will discuss how counselling and education could help prisoners to reform.

Secondly

, I will share how money and finances can lead

people

to commit

crimes

again.

Firstly

, when

people

are in

prison

they often do not receive any counselling or assistance with education to help improve their ways of thinking.

This

means that mentally the criminal does not change or develop whilst locked up. One solution for

this

problem could be to give access to lots of educational facilities to the prisoners whilst in jail.

As a result

this

, once the prisoner is free from

prison

, they will be able to have a positive impact on society and not commit any

further

crimes

Also

, education will help the person to find a good job and feel less pressure to not commit

crimes

Secondly

, financial reasons often could cause

people

to recommit

crimes

and make an early return

into

Change preposition

show examples

jail. When

people

leave

prison

they are often left in a difficult financial position which could lead them to

stealing

Change the verb form

steal

show examples

or commit other

crimes

to raise money. The government should create jobs that are readily available for ex-criminals to work in – especially if they can help

people

in the community.

This

solution has two great benefits. The person who has left

prison

can earn money to secure themselves and

also

can help the community feel valued. To conclude, effective counselling, skill development sessions and a structured rehabilitation program will help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first

time offenders from getting misguided into committing

crimes

again.

Submitted by visakhvijayan2014 on Thu Sep 02 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The probability of an offender committing a crime after serving the first punishment has increased. What is the reason for this and how can this problem be tackled?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most agree that we should be training children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. However, some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feels schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

If financially possible, is it always better for young people to leave home and be independent at the age of 18, do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.