The probability of an offender committing a crime after serving the first punishment has increased. What is the reason for this and how can this problem be tackled?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Offenders who are released from
prison
Use synonyms
after serving their
first
Linking Words
sentence are more likely to resort to committing
crimes
Use synonyms
again. There are a number of reasons for
this
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will suggest ways to solve
this
Linking Words
problem in
this
Linking Words
essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I will discuss how counselling and education could help prisoners to reform.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I will share how money and finances can lead
people
Use synonyms
to commit
crimes
Use synonyms
again.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
are in
prison
Use synonyms
they often do not receive any counselling or assistance with education to help improve their ways of thinking.
This
Linking Words
means that mentally the criminal does not change or develop whilst locked up. One solution for
this
Linking Words
problem could be to give access to lots of educational facilities to the prisoners whilst in jail.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
, once the prisoner is free from
prison
Use synonyms
, they will be able to have a positive impact on society and not commit any
further
Linking Words
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, education will help the person to find a good job and feel less pressure to not commit
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, financial reasons often could cause
people
Use synonyms
to recommit
crimes
Use synonyms
and make an early return
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
jail. When
people
Use synonyms
leave
prison
Use synonyms
they are often left in a difficult financial position which could lead them to
stealing
Change the verb form
steal
show examples
or commit other
crimes
Use synonyms
to raise money. The government should create jobs that are readily available for ex-criminals to work in – especially if they can help
people
Use synonyms
in the community.
This
Linking Words
solution has two great benefits. The person who has left
prison
Use synonyms
can earn money to secure themselves and
also
Linking Words
can help the community feel valued. To conclude, effective counselling, skill development sessions and a structured rehabilitation program will help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
Linking Words
time offenders from getting misguided into committing
crimes
Use synonyms
again.
Submitted by visakhvijayan2014 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: