IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects of this on society and families?

#people #children #life #effects #society #families
There is an increasing proportion of people who choose to have a
child
 at an older age. There are various reasons for
this
 trend and
this
 has both positive and negative impacts on families and society. Delaying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childbirth has many positive effects on families and society.
First
, people have enough time to collect money for preparing facilities for their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. People should have some criteria before becoming parents and one of them is financial ability so they can analyze their affordability and if they don’t have enough money for buying milk powder or
diaper
Fix the agreement mistake
diapers
show examples
 for their
child
 it is better to deter having a
child
.
Second
, couples who have marital problems can make their decision whether they want to continue or get divorced. Divorcing parents can cause irreversible effects on their
child
 so having a
child
 later can prevent
children
 from having a big issue in their life.
However
, we can’t overlook the drawbacks. In terms of the downsides of having a
child
 later, the most important negative effect is that it can heighten the risk of infertility among mothers and mental and physical problems among
children
.
For example
,
children
 may suffer chromosome problems
such
 as down syndrome.
In addition
, as the parents delaying their childbirth, they are not as patient as before and they prefer to be in quiet places
instead
 of hearing their
child
’s screams so
this
 can lead
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 conflicts between family members. In conclusion, I would argue that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
 of having a
child
 later eclipse the downsides and physical or mental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and preventing
children
 from family issues are some of its harmful and beneficial impacts.
Submitted by arashg911 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: