The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions?

#consumption #world’s #resources #oil #water #rate

Recently, the excessive consumption of the

world

’s

resources

such

as oil, freshwater or mineral deposits is having a negative influence on all living things on earth.

This

essay will clarify the causes and solutions of

this

phenomenon. There are several reasons that lead to the

world

’s

resources

Fix the agreement mistake

resource

show examples

depletion. First of all, many

resources

are used to cover human’s basic needs. The

world

’s population is witnessing a dramatic rise so that the use of the

world

resources

will be fully exploited to meet mankind's

demand

Fix the agreement mistake

demands

show examples

For instance

, many developing countries are speeding up the building of houses and skyscrapers to serve people’s living and working so that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

vacant land in the future will no longer exist. Second of all, people’s poor awareness

also

contributes to the exhaustion of natural

resources

For example

, many people are illegally logging in large quantities to make money and with

this

fast pace of cutting trees, the

world

with countless species of trees in the past will become the

world

with no green. Some solutions can be taken to deal with

this

phenomenon.

Firstly

, the government should create and develop man-made

resources

Due to

the development of modern technologies, many countries can create man-made

resources

so that when natural

resources

are overexploited mankind can have backup

resources

Secondly

, the government should raise people’s awareness about the importance of natural

resources

. They can add

this

into

Change preposition

show examples

the school curriculum so that children can know about the influence of the

world

resources

on humankind.

Due to

Change preposition

show examples

this

way, the young generation - the future leaders - can know how to use natural

resources

reasonably. In conclusion, there are many reasons that lead to the overconsumption of

resources

and

this

phenomenon can be solved by the aforementioned methods.

Submitted by lekhanhhoa1208 on Thu Sep 02 2021

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task response

Ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate to the task question, and make sure that a clear position is presented and maintained throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more explicit and provide a clearer indication of what the essay will cover. Work on using more cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that as long as professional sportsmen and sportswomen are good players, their behavior on and off the paying fields is not important. Do you agree or disagree?

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All companies should provide sports and social facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?