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Band 4.5

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion

#people #zoos #animals
Keeping wild animals in a
zoo
 is a controversial issue. While there are some
disagree
Correct pronoun usage
who disagree
show examples
 with
this
 action, the benefit of having wild
Correct your spelling
life
lives
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 in artificial
environmen
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environment
environments
 like zoos
also
 have many positive points.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, I completely agree that zoos can
protecting
Change the verb form
protect
be protecting
show examples
 wild animals and
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of
Add an article
the zoo
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zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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 is overtaken the drawbacks.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
 essay will examine both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of
this
 issue.
To begin
 with,
zoo
Correct article usage
a zoo
show examples
 is a good place for scientists to research and prevent
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 from extinction. The reduction in
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of species is a good example of unprotection.
Therefore
, keeping animal from their freedom
seem
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seems
show examples
 to be cruel but
this
 is necessary evil way. Another benefit is
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
 inspiring many children. Not like seeing in the book, If children can learn from real experience with
animal
Add an article
an animal
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such
 as
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, smell, sound and etc., the importance of the other
Correct your spelling
lives
lifes
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lives
show examples
 could be
awared
Correct your spelling
awarded
aware
. Moving to the fact that
zoo
 is not proper
for ever
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forever
show examples
 animals.
For example
, the carnivores like Lion and
tiger
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tigers
show examples
 have
Correct article usage
the instincts
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instincts
Fix the agreement mistake
instinct
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 to run and hunt and
as a result
 of
peting
Correct your spelling
putting
petting
 them in a small cage, aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is unavoidable. To conclude,
zoo
Add an article
the zoo
a zoo
show examples
 can be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place to protect
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
.
However
, stress from
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
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 area to
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
Change preposition
in is
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is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
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as
Change preposition
apply
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a drawback. The better way to deal with
this
 is that zoos must design to have enough space proper
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
fro
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 each species.
Submitted by topweeradet on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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