Buying fashionable clothes is wasteful because people do not need new clothes all the time .Clothing should be bought and used more wisely. do you agree?

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Introduction

attire must be bought and

wear

Wrong verb form

worn

show examples

smart as purchasing a trendy piece of clothing is wasteful because the masses do not require fresh clothing every time. On the

whole

Add a comma

whole,

show examples

I do believe that

clothes

Use synonyms

can be repeated multiple times but in certain ,circumstances it is not acceptable.

Body paragraph 1

There are ample reasons to justify the above statement as first and foremost, the fashion of

clothes

Use synonyms

changed round-the-clock

consequently

Linking Words

, it would not be practically possible to wear something

Linking Words

accordingly

Correct your spelling

according

show examples

latest trends. If

one

Use synonyms

buying

Wrong verb form

buys

show examples

clothes

Use synonyms

wisely , it would save a lot of money . In return, they can utilise money in a better way.

For instance

Linking Words

, nowadays, fashionable

clothes

Use synonyms

are worn for just

one

Use synonyms

week or a month. After that, they just declared it outdated which is a total

wastage

Replace the word

waste

show examples

of money.

In addition

Linking Words

, everyone is so busy in their own life,

they

Correct word choice

that they

show examples

do not even bother

what

Change preposition

about what

show examples

you

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

wore

last

Linking Words

time ,

thus

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

should not wear fancy unique

clothes

Use synonyms

to impress society.

Body paragraph 2

Last

Linking Words

but not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

least, if somebody is willing to contribute their part to save the environment

then

Linking Words

, it can be done by putting the same

clothes

Use synonyms

over again.

For example

Linking Words

, most of the

fabric

Fix the agreement mistake

fabrics

show examples

are non-biodegradable as it is not easy to dispose of them

hence

Linking Words

, it causes soil pollution.

Conversely

Linking Words

, production industries provide employment to a lot of people and it is rightly said that be glad that you are greedy , the national economy would collapse if you were not . Sometimes, few outfits are occasion and time-specific, if

one

Use synonyms

towants

Correct your spelling

wants

survive in

this

Linking Words

world which is fascinated by style

then

Linking Words

they have to buy a fresh wardrobe.

Conclusion

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

there is no harm in putting on a brand new piece of clothing individuals should practise

this

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

their needs and budget not to impress society

Manvir kaur bhatti

Sep 3, 2021

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Improve the flow of ideas by organizing the essay in a more coherent structure. Connect the ideas more smoothly to enhance clarity and coherence.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Buying fashionable clothes is wasteful because people do not need new clothes all the time .Clothing should be bought and used more wisely. do you agree?

Nowadays families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Theoretical subjects (such as mathematic and philosophy) should no longer be taught in universities because most of university students choose practical subjects (such as accounting and economics).To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that getting married before finishing school or getting a job is not a good choice. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

discuss whether the advantages of nuclear energy outweight the potential risk and environment concern