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Band 3.5

Even though doctors all over the world would agree that fast food is bad for people’s health, more and more people are eating it. Why are more people eating fast food? What can be done about this problem?

#doctors #world #food #people’s #health #people
Proper eating has an important role in our lives to have a
longer
Replace the word
long
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 and healthy life. But, a
lot
 of people still love to eat junk foods even though they know it is not best for their health.
This
 essay will
talked
Change the verb form
talk
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 about the main causes and possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.
First
 of all, after a hectic day at
work
Add a comma
,work
show examples
 it is best to eat good food to ease the tiredness.
For example
, my
bestfriend
Correct your spelling
best friend
 is working in a hospital and it is always stressful and a
lot
 of
patient
Change to a plural noun
patients
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 nowadays, because of
this
 pandemic.
Thus
, eating what she liked after work
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 her feel relaxed.
Secondly
, they said you only live once so make the best of it.
For instance
, eat what makes you happy and just do all you want will motivate you for the
next
 day.
On the other hand
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Add an article
the people
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 said we must be healthy so we can
survived
Change the verb form
survive
show examples
, because of
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
 a
lot
 of people are getting sick and diseases and being healthy can boost our immune system and that case we can avoid covid. The possible solutions are
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 15 minutes a day we do cardio exercise or even walk outside and try to eat a
lot
 of vegetables. Being healthy makes our body productive and think wisely. I conclude
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 stressed eating is not bad.
However
, we should eat healthy to stay long
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our loved ones.
Submitted by RoseOrlaes on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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