Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#discipline #schools #people #responsibility #teachers #role #parents

The modern world is filled with all kinds of temptations, and without

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strictness or

self

Add a hyphen

self-discipline

show examples

discipline

, people can easily be spoiled and become a burden for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Unfortunately, people are not born with these characteristics, but they can only gather them by starting training from a very young age. There are two schools of thought about

this

matter. Many people believe that

teachers

should be responsible for educating

children

about self-

discipline

, while others insist that

parents

should be the

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

in charge.

This

essay will discuss both

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

and conclude with a personal opinion on teaching

self

Add a hyphen

self-discipline

show examples

discipline

children

. On the one hand, others including myself think that

parents

should

be take

Change the verb form

take

show examples

the lead in teaching self-control to

children

. It is unrefutable that

parents

have more impact on

children

compared to their

teachers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

children

spend most of their time at home and tend to imitate their

parents

’

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Hence

, it is

parents’s

Remove the s

parents’

show examples

responsibility to perform good characteristics around their

children

so that they can follow the right path.

Moreover

, because

children

learn

discipline

from their

parents

at their will, not by

forced

Replace the word

force

show examples

, it is easier for them to absorb

this

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

characteristic.

On the other hand

, many believe that

teachers

play a crucial role in educating

discipline

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Children

tend to listen to the

advises

Replace the word

advice

show examples

from their

teachers

since they have high

respects

Fix the agreement mistake

respect

show examples

toward

Change preposition

for

show examples

them.

Therfore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

this

will give lecturers the ability to encourage

children

to practice the right

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

However

teachers

also

have to transfer knowledge to

children

to keep up with the syllabus,

thus

it is extremely difficult for them to balance between educating and teaching

discipline

. In conclusion, I personally believe that

parents

should be responsible for teaching

children

discipline

and self-control

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it is more effective compared to

teachers

Submitted by manhtienng.01 on Sat Sep 04 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays an increasing number of people change their career and place of residence several times during life. Is this a positive or negative development?

Do you think the emphasis on the word 'new' is a good thing for advertisement

In some countries the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation, and discourages private vehicle ownership. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

In the last century when a human astronaut arrived on the moon, He said “it is a big step for mankind”. But some people say it makes little or no difference to our daily life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?