Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#discipline #schools #people #responsibility #teachers #role #parents

The modern world is filled with all kinds of temptations, and without applying strictness or self-

discipline

people

can easily be spoiled and become a burden for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Unfortunately,

people

are not born with these characteristics, but they can gather them by starting training from a very young age. There are two schools of thought about

this

matter. Many

people

believe that

teachers

should be responsible for educating

children

about self-

discipline

, while others insist that

parents

should be the

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

in charge.

This

essay will discuss both points of view and conclude with a personal opinion on teaching self-

discipline

children

. On the one hand, many

people

including myself think that

parents

should

be take

Change the verb form

take

show examples

the lead in teaching self-control to

children

. It is unrefutable that

parents

have more impact on

children

compared to their

teachers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

children

spend most of their time at home and tend to imitate their

parents

’

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Hence

, it is

parents

' responsibility to perform good characteristics around their

children

so that they can follow the right path.

Moreover

, because

children

learn

discipline

from their

parents

willingly, not by force, it is easier for them to absorb

this

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

characteristic.

On the other hand

, others believe that

teachers

play a crucial role in educating

discipline

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Children

tend to listen to the

advises

Replace the word

advice

show examples

from their

teachers

since they have high respect for them.

Therefore

this

will give lecturers the ability to encourage

children

to practice the right behaviour.

However

teachers

also

have to transfer knowledge to

children

to keep up with the syllabus,

thus

it is extremely difficult for them to balance between educating and teaching

discipline

. In conclusion, I personally believe that

parents

should be responsible for teaching

children

discipline

and self-control

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it is more effective compared to

teachers

Submitted by manhtienng.01 on Sat Sep 04 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing .what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

in the past people used to travel abroad to look for many difference from their home countr/Nowadays cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. what are the reasons. do the advenyages outweight disadventages

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extend do you agree?

1.Some people believe that spending money on developing technology on space exploration is unjustifiable and there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?