IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, many more people are choosing to leave nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #development
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The number of one-person households is increasing exponentially in developed countries
such
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 as Japan and Korea. It is a significant societal change comparing to the past
,
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apply
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 when family members within three or four generations often lived together.
However
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, I firmly believe that
this
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 is a harmful development worsening our mental healths and taking away the ability to take care
for
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of
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 the elderly.
First
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 of all,
people
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 become more vulnerable to mental illness when they live
by
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on
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 their own.
People
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, especially young ones, are busy and have to face
of
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apply
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lots of pressure
everyday
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every day
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. When they have no one to share their thoughts and feelings, it can
spriral
Correct your spelling
spiral
 down to depression and even suicide.
Thus
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, living alone takes a tremendous toll on our mental healths.
Moreover
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,
elderly
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the elderly
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suffers
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suffer
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 from various issues when they live alone, either with or without stable incomes. In
Korean
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Korea
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, old
people
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 are often not financially supported by the government. And, it is not uncommon to see Korean grandmas have to
collects
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collect
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 trash all day to be able to feed themselves. While in Japan, where old
people
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 have sufficient savings, they may pass away alone for months before
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anyone
anyones
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anyone's
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 notices.
Hence
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, the increasing trend of living alone is doing more harm than good for the older generation, who have already sacrificed a lot for us. In a nutshell, as
one-person
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a one-person
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 household leading to mental health illness and
neglectance
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neglecting
reflectance
 of
old
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the old
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 generation, it is obviously not a social improvement. In the future,
government
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the government
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 should decentralize
workforce
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the workforce
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 so that
people
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 do not have to live away from their family members. They can
also
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 promote share
house
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houses
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 or other community-based living styles, so we
people
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 can live and take care of others.
Submitted by longgnnguyen on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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