Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and apes together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #apes

The way of bringing

people

together from different cultures all around the world and various age groups could be through

music

, as

thought

Correct your spelling

though

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by some

people

. I completely agree with

this

idea because of several reasons. In

this

world, there are

people

who belong to different communities and have their unique

music

style

Fix the agreement mistake

styles

show examples

and cultures. If

people

from a particular community meet other

people

this

world through

music

then

this

could be

sign

Add an article

a sign

show examples

of friendship and love and bringing them together.

For instance

, one of

friend

Add an article

a friend

show examples

who lives in India met a person living in France when he posted his review on French pop

music

band on Twitter. Through

this

, both of them could exchange their thoughts and ideas and thereby became

long distance

Add a hyphen

long-distance

show examples

friends. The French guy was introduced to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

classical

hindi

Change the capitalization

Hindi

show examples

music

and my friend started even liking more French

music

. In the current scenario, youngsters prefer listening to those

music

genres which are currently trending and are never aware of the retro, old, traditional songs. It’s obvious that everyone has their choice, but if they once listen to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old

music

, maybe

then

they won’t regret missing out

something

Change preposition

on something

show examples

precious.

Furthermore

, if

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

generation

start

Change the verb form

starts

show examples

loving old

music

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

this

could bring

people

with older generations

Change the word

apply

show examples

closer to them.

This

situation particularly happens in India. To conclude,

music

does bring

people

of different age groups and generations together by sharing their opinions about their

music

style and

also

by getting introduced to retro and old

music

with different generations

Submitted by umeshkastur15 on Sat Sep 04 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and apes together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As well as making money, businessess also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is important for children to attend extra classes outside school, while others believe that they should be allowed to play after school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.