IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problem as a result. why do many working people not get enough exercise? what can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
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Even though health is
bieng
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being
 is considered as an important factor by many people nowadays. Most of them are not able to shift their focus on leading a healthy life due to
the
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apply
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job responsibilities. The major reason here is the type of
work
Use synonyms
which
Change preposition
in which
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mostly
Replace the word
most
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 folks are involved in.
Majority
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The majority
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 of
population
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the population
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thesedays
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these days
 are working from home due to the ongoing pandemic, which
have
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has
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 in turn made them lethargic and unhealthy. There are various factors
which
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that
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 could account
people
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for people
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 being devoid of any exercise. They
are
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are working
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work
Use synonyms
 from home, anxiety issues, confining to a comfort zone,
lazyness
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laziness
 and so on.
This
Linking Words
 scenario has been boosted with the oncoming of Covid19, whereby
group
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groups
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 have been confined to their location and thereby have reduced their commute.
Linking Words
Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
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this
Linking Words
 has induced them in becoming lazy and
have
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has
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 developed unhealthy eating habits. Though there are issues concerning
this
Linking Words
. There seems to be available possible solution to
this
Linking Words
, many
organisation
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organisations
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 have come up with the idea of inculcating free online yoga classes, exercises,
gym
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a gym
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 which employees can practise at their own location without having to go out. Adding to
which
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this
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, events are being organised to encourage healthy eating habits amongst the people.
Alltogether
Correct your spelling
Altogether
such
Linking Words
 motivation incubated into the workplace by the firms can enhance the lifecycle of an individual totally. To conclude,
eventhough
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even though
work
Use synonyms
 pressure seems to mount and create imbalanced
Use synonyms
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
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 balance. Certain innovative steps taken by
individula
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individual
individuals
 and
the
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apply
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companies can create a positive impact on
life
Add an article
the life
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 of a person as a whole.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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