Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

In the contemporary era, people are running behind

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money. Wealth is always important in a person life. It is evident that individuals are spending less time on their personal things and working more at their workplace.

This

essay will discuss that these have more disadvantages than advantages.

Health

and social relationship are more affected by long working hours.

Firstly

now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

, group of people are working very hard to earn more incentive and salary which have a definitely detrimental effect. Due to the extended work hours employees are suffering myriad

health

problems.

Although

money

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

happiness in life but

also

responsible for

health

complications. People are facing mentally as well physically challenges.

Moreover

, stress,

diabetic

Replace the word

diabetes

show examples

, heart problems are increasing day by day.

For instance

, my one of

friend

Add an article

a friend

show examples

who was working long hours at the office. Gradually, she started facing

blood

Correct article usage

a blood

show examples

pressure

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

. Due to consistent extreme work pressure, she got

heart

Add an article

a heart

show examples

attack and died at the age of 40.

Secondly

, it

also

hampers social and personal

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

. individuals do not get

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adequate time for their families,

as a result

, both feel isolated and

dissatisfaction

Replace the word

dissatisfied

show examples

Thirdly

, will friends become angry? Certainly yes! They assume that their friend has become egoist, that’s why not meeting with us.

Additionally

, creates social distances.

For example

, I have been working hard for two months and not getting time for friends and relatives.

Furthermore

, I am not replying

calls

Change preposition

to calls

show examples

and messages.

As a result

, they

also

stopped calling me. They all must be angry

Change preposition

with

show examples

me. In conclusion, money

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

an important part in every human’s life

however

, it is not everything. Provided that, good

health

and loving families are the most precious gift of our lives. They are equally important and we should not ignore that.

Submitted by namita.sinha25 on Sun Sep 05 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of sociual media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantages?

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What types of changes are occurring? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

In theie advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.