Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are plenty of
professions
which earn
tremendous
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a tremendous
show examples
amount of money with their
profession
, sports is one of the
profession
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professions
show examples
. Every coin has two faces. It totally depends on demand. I totally agree that
this
is unfair
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
other
professions
. There are few
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who
earning
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earn
show examples
millions of dollars in 90 minutes of
match
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the match
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, and on the other
side
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,side
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the army
person
who devoted his full life
in
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to
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serving society and community will never earn more than thousands of dollars. The
sport
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sports
show examples
person
does
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
hard work as highly risky
professions
but
sport
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sports
show examples
person
getting paid, and it is still increasing
year
by
year
. If I brief it with an example Messi yearly salary is 35 million dollars for a
year
, and in India, the army troops, doctors, nurses, engineers etc. earning 30 thousand USD per
year
. So, it is unfair for a
person
who devoted his full life toward achieving
this
profession
. If someone who pursued
this
profession
and not getting income as much as motivative
then
how people can be able to convince themselves to pursue these
professions
. On
this
hand, the competition to achieve success in
sport’s
Correct article usage
the sport’s
show examples
industry is hard for those people
who
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whom
show examples
did
Correct your spelling
not
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nott
Correct your spelling
not
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surpass their limits. When
Correct article usage
a sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
person
plays it does not play for her sake, they play to represent their nation. They are getting paid because they are representing their countries and if they win the Fame of the country
also
rose.
That is
the main reason why
,
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apply
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
getting higher
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
other
Change the wording
another profession
other professions
show examples
profession
. In conclusion, I agree that people who think playing sports is not worth as per they present but for representing the whole country will make it worth it.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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