Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The world is becoming more and more modern with the
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
of technology in communication and transportation and at the same time, a lot of people tend to move out to live with their friends or alone.
Although
some say that
this
trend has a negative effect on communities, I strongly believe that their more benefits than drawbacks. One of the main reasons why people oppose
this
idea is the relationship between children and their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
would be broken down. They believe that when young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
busy with work and friends,
hence
, they would not consider their families as important as those used to be. As a matter of fact, they are easily affected by the bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
of their close friends or of those they are living with. They may study smoke, drink, use drugs and so on.
Moreover
, living with family means
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
share someone's sorrow and unhappiness while living alone leads to loneliness and sadness. From the opposite viewpoint, there are
numorous
Correct your spelling
numerous
advantages.
First
, moving out is a sign of growing up and taking
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
. Some argue that when a person leaves the comfort of their home, they become considerably more self-reliant.
Second
, a sense of independence combined with a high level of privacy is seen as the most desirable aspect of a happy existence. The reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
living
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life on their own allows them to invest
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
precious time in the development growth and shaping
out
Change preposition
of
show examples
their personality. They get to do whatever they like and live without strings.
Finally
, individuals are more likely to attend more public social events, helping cities and metropolitan regions to revitalize as they spend more money on vacations, outdoor activities, and other services. Having considered a range of arguments, I have concluded that the benefits of living away from families are far and wide.
Submitted by haioanhcongviec on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Erosion
  • Communal cohesion
  • Geographical dispersion
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Real estate dynamics
  • Psychological well-being
  • Technological facilitation
  • Independence
  • Traditional vs modern lifestyles
  • Intergenerational relationships
  • Virtual communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: