Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
There are several factors influencing the diminishing number of certain
species
around the world. I am certain that human behaviour is one of the major reasons and there have been many suggested solutions to address this
problem.
Animal extinction has been reported in many parts of the world. Rhinos and other turtle species
are only some of the animals
that can never be seen by future generations. Currently, the list of endemic creatures is adding up, and this
is widely brought about by various human activities. Extension of human settlement and industrialization are among the significant factors affecting the quantity of animals
. For instance
, in the Philippines, the extinction of the Philippines Eagle was largely caused by deforestation in search of residential areas and land cultivation for food. The forest that used to serve as a sanctuary for these enormous birds was destroyed and their ecosystem was altered resulting in survival challenges. Aside from that, people
hunting animals
for food, entertainment and experiments are not regulated well by the government. Nowadays, there are still cases of illegal hunting and selling of elephant tusks in the market because of their high cost. In addition
, many establishments such
as zoos and SeaWorld contain orcas for entertainment shows and capital gains.
The government and other stakeholders should emphasize the regulations protecting endangered species
. One strategic measure is to conserve wild areas that are home to precious creatures. Industrialization is beneficial but it should be redirected to areas with minimal wildlife damage. Another is creating tougher punishment against illegal hunters and sellers of any parts of endangered animals
. Furthermore
, more funds should be allocated to educate people
about the importance of balance in the ecosystem. If people
only knew that an imbalanced natural system has consequences for environmental health then
perhaps they would think twice before cutting trees and ravaging the seas.
In conclusion, there are several solutions to mitigate animal extinction but if people
will continue to be careless, the decline or loss of many species
will be inevitable.Submitted by sheenasedeno on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with clear connections between ideas. Use a wider variety of cohesive devices such as comparative phrases, conditionals, and discourse markers beyond the basic connectors.
coherence cohesion
You have presented an introduction and a conclusion which are necessary components of a good essay. However, strengthen your conclusion by reinforcing your thesis and summarizing the key points more effectively to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed explanations and a wider range of examples. Each paragraph should contain one clear central idea with sufficient evidence to support it. This can further bolster the persuasiveness and depth of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your response thoroughly addresses all parts of the task. Expand upon the reasons for species extinction, not just human activities but also natural causes, and provide a more balanced range of solutions, including international cooperation and scientific research.
task achievement
Make certain that the ideas you express are clear, and comprehensively explore each point. Avoid superficial treatment of the topic by delving deeper into the subject matter and providing insightful observations that reflect a nuanced understanding of the issue.
task achievement
Include a broader variety of specific examples to support your points. While you have touched upon some examples like the Philippines Eagle, aim to provide a wider range of international examples and statistics that substantiate your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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