IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write an essay about 200-250 words, giving your opinion about the following statement: "Twenty years from now, the world will be a better place to live in". Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons.

#twenty #years #world #place
Our
world
 will be much better to live
after
Change preposition
in after
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 20 years than now". I
am totally agree
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totally agree
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 with that point of view. Nowadays, there are so many obstacles and issues which we are facing
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 but can't overcome. Bacteria, viruses are the initial problem in our
world
 right now. Today, we are facing with
very
Add an article
a very
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 strong enemy called Corona Virus . Even with our development in medicine, there are still
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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thousands of
people
 that
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 and hundreds of those
people
 can die. In future with better development, we will not only be able to kill it easily, but
also
 save
people
 from other sicknesses which now we can't handle
with
Change preposition
apply
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.
Also
, in future, we will live in the
world
 of technology. Those who have lost their senses can be switched with nanotechnology. Robots will
helps
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help
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 with dangerous jobs like
Add an article
a builder
the builder
show examples
builder
Replace the word
building
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, plumber... with them, we will live in
much
Add an article
a much
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 better
world
.
On the other hand
, we will face problems with food, space of living and jobs. It can influence
in
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apply
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people
's
life
Replace the word
lives
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 and
than
Replace the word
then
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 cause
corruptions
Fix the agreement mistake
corruption
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 and with new technology, there will be much more ways to do terrorism and offence. Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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that, in my opinion, the government will easily solve those problems and even if we won't be able to do that. We will have much more advantages and entertainment for living than now. In conclusion, with those technologies in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 20 years, the question about
better
Add an article
a better
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 life is obvious. It's just the question of time when we can live remarkably like that.
Submitted by phuonganhp94 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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