In some societies the number of crime committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree?

An increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

number of

crimes

Use synonyms

which was committed by teenagers becomes a

critial

Correct your spelling

critical

problem in some societies, while some

people

Use synonyms

believe that anyone who commits a serious crime should receive

punishment

Use synonyms

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

adult

Correct article usage

an adult

show examples

. From my perspective, I totally agree with the idea. In the following paragraphs, I will give the reasons to support my viewpoint.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I believe that normal

people

Use synonyms

, who have a positive mind, cannot commit major

crimes

Use synonyms

, including murder, rape, kidnapping, etc.

In contrast

Linking Words

, one who has a criminal mind can make it, so

social

Replace the word

society

show examples

should not let any criminal receive less

punishment

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the result of surveys from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Harvard University revealed that

teengers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

who

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

critical

crimes

Use synonyms

when they were young may repeat the same case once they get out of

jails

Fix the agreement mistake

jail

show examples

. Another example is that a

pyschopath

Correct your spelling

psychopath

, a serial killer, cannot be cured.

Therefore

Linking Words

, we should treat any murderer equally.

Second

Linking Words

, it is widely believed that adults have better judgement than children.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

argue that being a good man does not require age.

Thus

Linking Words

, everyone should have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

positive morale.

Besides

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should learn how to reduce their greed and malice.

Crimials

Correct your spelling

Criminals

always did the same scene again and again.

Hence

Linking Words

, to prevent societies from

crimes

Use synonyms

, it is better to sentence every criminal hardly. In conclusion, I agree that any teenager should get the

punishment

Use synonyms

as much as he or she

deserve

Change the verb form

deserves

show examples

, as criminals have not been developed

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apply

show examples

overnight.

Thus

Linking Words

, their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

will not be changed by receiving small

Use synonyms

punishment

Fix the agreement mistake

punishments

show examples

kanokwann.joyMon Sep 06 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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In some societies the number of crime committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You just moved to a new home and planning to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb the neighbour. Write a letter to your naeighbour. In your letter introduce yourself describe your plans for the party invite your neighbour to come.

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?