In some societies the number of crime committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree?

An increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of
crimes
which was committed by teenagers becomes a
critial
Correct your spelling
critical
problem in some societies, while some
people
believe that anyone who commits a serious crime should receive
punishment
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
. From my perspective, I totally agree with the idea. In the following paragraphs, I will give the reasons to support my viewpoint.
Firstly
, I believe that normal
people
, who have a positive mind, cannot commit major
crimes
, including murder, rape, kidnapping, etc.
In contrast
, one who has a criminal mind can make it, so
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
should not let any criminal receive less
punishment
.
For example
, the result of surveys from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Harvard University revealed that
teengers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
who
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
critical
crimes
when they were young may repeat the same case once they get out of
jails
Fix the agreement mistake
jail
show examples
. Another example is that a
pyschopath
Correct your spelling
psychopath
, a serial killer, cannot be cured.
Therefore
, we should treat any murderer equally.
Second
, it is widely believed that adults have better judgement than children.
Nonetheless
, some
people
argue that being a good man does not require age.
Thus
, everyone should have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
positive morale.
Besides
,
people
should learn how to reduce their greed and malice.
Crimials
Correct your spelling
Criminals
always did the same scene again and again.
Hence
, to prevent societies from
crimes
, it is better to sentence every criminal hardly. In conclusion, I agree that any teenager should get the
punishment
as much as he or she
deserve
Change the verb form
deserves
show examples
, as criminals have not been developed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overnight.
Thus
, their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
will not be changed by receiving small
punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
show examples
.
Submitted by kanokwann.joy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: