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Nowadays people get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

#people #kids #thirties #trend #benefit #society
Nowadays
people
 tend to chase their career dreams
instead
 of getting married and have
kids
 before turning 30. I believe that
positives
Correct article usage
the positives
show examples
 of
this
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
 outweigh the negatives, and in the following essay, I would like to describe why. Having
kids
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an early age was natural for centuries. There were many reasons for
such
 behaviour. The life expectancy was much shorter, so it was natural to settle down early and have a family.
However
, those days are gone, today's lifespan is much longer and more and more women chose their career above the family. In my opinion, the more educated and working
people
 a country
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
, the better. Women almost all across the globe have
finally
 gained
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 to large international companies and are able to earn large sums of money.
This
 is something a government of the country will benefit from. To put it
in other words
, working women contribute to the economy of the country.
Furthermore
, it has been proven, that
people
 in their thirties are more likely to financially secure their families
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than parents in
ther
Correct your spelling
their
the
 twenties. Many
people
also
 back up
this
 opinion by the statement, that "older" parents are more responsible. On the basis of the above discussion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
people
 having
kids
 in their thirties are able to secure their
kids
 better, and
that is
 why I agree with
this
 trend.
Submitted by kmiksikova on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • emotional maturity
  • secure upbringing
  • career prospects
  • education and career development
  • lifetime earnings
  • job satisfaction
  • health outcomes
  • demographic shift
  • population growth
  • ageing population
  • parental preparedness
  • responsibilities of parenting
  • modern healthcare
  • capable of having healthy pregnancies
  • balancing population growth
  • establish careers
  • save money
  • healthier relationships
  • better parenting
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