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Band 5

The crime rate in urban areas is usually much higher than in rural areas. Why is this? What can be done to address the problem of crime?

#crime #rate #areas #address
In recent times, it has been evidently witnessed that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is
surge
Add an article
a surge
the surge
show examples
 in the crime rate in
cities
,
in contrast
 to countryside areas. There are several reasons for
this
 and to ameliorate the issue certain steps can be taken in
this
 direction which will be explicated in
this
 essay. The
first
 and foremost reason for
surge
Add an article
the surge
show examples
 in the criminal activities is
soaring
Correct article usage
the soaring
show examples
population
.
In other words
, with the rise in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people in
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
 there will be
hike
Add an article
a hike
show examples
 in the unemployment rate which cannot be seen in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of underdeveloped places. Indeed, individuals of developed regions have a desire to live an opulent lifestyle, but due to work constrain they opt
illicit
Change preposition
for illicit
show examples
 ways to earn money
such
 as theft, burglaries, murder and many more to mention. Whereas residents of rural regions believe in sober living.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data obtained from police headquarter reveals that 78%
crimes
Change preposition
of crimes
show examples
 are
comitted
Correct your spelling
committed
 by youngsters to full fil luxurious desires of their
Add a hyphen
live-in
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 in partner.
Thus
, a
keen
Replace the word
keenness
show examples
 to live
luxurious
Correct article usage
a luxurious
show examples
 lifestyle
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as lack of job opportunities,
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of job opportunities add fuel to the fire. To curb the issue, there should be
Add an article
the
an
show examples
implementation of stringent laws so that it would create fear in
mind
Add an article
the mind
show examples
 of
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 prior to commencement of any sort of
henious
Correct your spelling
heinous
 crime.
Moreover
, there should be a restraint on
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 of immigrants as
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
population
 comprises
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
immigrants. Apart from
this
, adjacent areas of
cities
 can be developed to generate employment opportunities.
For instance
, the areas in
vicinity
Add an article
the vicinity
show examples
 of Noida are developed to cater
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 needs of
growing
Add an article
the growing
show examples
population
 eventually, causes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decline in the crime rate.
Therefore
,
formation
Correct article usage
the formation
show examples
 and implementation of rules and extension of
cities
 are some of the remedies to mitigate the problem. In compendium, to reduce the unlawful act norms should be implemented and job opportunities should be created by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to reduce
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 ratio.
Submitted by sangeeta252618 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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