IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people are afraid to leave their home because of crime. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. What is your view?

#people #home #crime #believe #action
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Nowadays, misdeed rates are rising due to which people have developed a constant fear of becoming a victim.
Therefore
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, some of them claim that
this
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 wrongdoing could be prevented for the sake of their stability and security. While others do not accord with
this
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 statement. I strongly agree with the ideology that measures should be taken against criminal actions. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elucidate my reasons with relevant illustrations. To commence with, There are many reasons to support
this
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 notion.
First
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 and foremost, the government should impose strict laws against offenders so that they will scare before committing any crime. To explicate, those who commit felonies like murder , rape, burglary, arson and so forth should receive punishments
such
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 as life imprisonment and death penalty according to the severity of the offence.
Therefore
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, the decline in lawful exercise would ensure people's safety whenever they leave for their work or houses.
Furthermore
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, after offenders being released from jail they are not able to find jobs on their own and they force to do
such
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 misdeeds to make themselves alive and
subsequently
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 contributing to increasing wrong movement.
Therefore
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, educational courses can be given to prisoners so that they could achieve a good job.
However
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, Others believe that despite decreasing deplorable enterprise, mankind will still be scared because these days everybody is bombarded with negative news stories about violence and offence on our streets.
Therefore
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, nothing much can be done to eliminate their horror completely. To sum it up,
although
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 crime tackling is difficult still preventive measures can be taken by the government and education system to secure the society.
Submitted by ak8531526 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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