IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think employers should not care about the way their employees dress, but the quality of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #care #employees #dress #quality #work
Many people believe that employees absolutely dress what they think is comfortable for them without judgment, but how effective they
work
. In my perspective, I suppose that both of them
also
 play a fundamental role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 minimum standards at the
work
 office. On the one hand, what they solve
this
 problem at
work
 and what they do to take benefits for their company which is proved for controllers. When you
work
 at some specific occupations, if they want to keep these jobs they will have the ability to receive it and be totally reasonable for it. With fantastic performance which is attributed to the fact that not only they deserve higher profit, but
also
 gain highly
respectations
Correct your spelling
expectations
 from their employers or bosses.
For example
, in
Vietnam
airline
Fix the agreement mistake
Airlines
show examples
 which is one of the biggest airlines in
Vietnam
, at the end of every month, they
also
 celebrate people who have some achievements,
however
, they absolutely punish people who make mistakes.
On the other hand
, dressing the uniform in the company creates a professional
environment
. For the most part, the working
environment
 is extremely crucial for the effectiveness of
work
. When employees
work
 in huge companies, they
also
 allow the rule that they have to dress in the same clothes which
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to equality between every
employees
Change to a singular noun
employee
show examples
, which will make employers just focus on their performance with judgement about clothes.
For instance
, in
Vietnam
airline
Fix the agreement mistake
Airlines
show examples
, the company’s purpose is
create
Change the verb form
to create
creating
show examples
 a unification
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 radically makes a professional
environment
 and any persons in
Vietnam
airline
Fix the agreement mistake
Airlines
show examples
 will become their symbol. In conclusion,
although
 performance at
work
 office is sharply important, dressing same uniform will bring some positive aspects
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 relevant with creating
private
Add an article
a private
the private
show examples
environment
 for
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
.
Submitted by plt13112001 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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