Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many communities think that extreme
sports
such
as sky diving and skiing are unsafe and dangerous and they must be prohibited. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
view for many reasons. First of all, extreme
sports
are not
dangerous
Rephrase
as dangerous
show examples
as many societies think.
This
is because all
sports
need some risk,
due
Correct word choice
and due
show examples
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
there are many things to do so
people
avoid any accidents
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
happen.
For example
, they can join clubs that train
these
Change preposition
in these
show examples
games and give lessons and rules.
Also
, in every place that has these ,activities there are coaches who can help
people
and make sure that they will not have
and
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
accidents.
Also
, the protective equipment and technology used in
sports
from motor racing to mountain climbing are constantly improving safety.
In addition
, I think it is the biggest mistake they could
do it
Verb problem
make
show examples
is to ban these games and
sports
,
due to
some
people
are
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
in these
sports
and they like to play
such
sports
,
also
other
people
want to give it
try
Correct article usage
a try
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is unfair to ban these
sports
just because some
people
thoughts. Even I cannot imagine
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
police being called to stop
people
from parachuting off mountain faces or surfing on an isolated beach.
However
, nowadays all methods of safety and security are available so no need to be weird about it. To sum ,up everything that has been stated my advice to
people
is to enjoy your life and try everything you want and don’t be
scare
Wrong verb form
scared
show examples
, some things need risk.
Submitted by hemant.patel1989 on

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task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt and provide a clear stance in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a logical manner and use transitional words to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structures and try to use a wider range of grammatical structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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