IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

young people feel free to choose their careers in their future working lives. However, they should be more realistic and look for the jobs that suit them

In recent days, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 should be freer to choose
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 work that they want to do in their
future
Use synonyms
 working lives, while others believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 should be more realistic and choose the
jobs
Use synonyms
 that will be possible for them to do in their
future
Use synonyms
 working lives. I believe that youth
people
Use synonyms
 should
be choose
Change the verb form
be choosing
show examples
 what they want to do in
future
Use synonyms
. In the following paragraphs I will explain both views and clearly give my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation should be freer to collect their
jobs
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, young
people
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 prefer to go to work they really want rather than
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 with
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 salary that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them feel pressure and unproductivity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if they choose their
future
Use synonyms
 career, they perfectly reach their goals because they feel passion
toward
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their work. To illustrate,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
knowledge
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knowledgeable
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 and
aware
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awareness
show examples
 about new technology so they can improve the economy of their country and achieve their goals in their workplace.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation should
be realistically choose
Change the verb form
realistically choose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 in
future
Use synonyms
 life. Every workplace has
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
. So,
people
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 think that they should fulfil
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
job
Use synonyms
 because of their families and responsibilities. They try to get a
job
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 with a high salary to live their lives even if
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 is not making them feel
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
. To sum up,
people
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 have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 about choosing the
jobs
Use synonyms
 in
future
Use synonyms
. I strongly believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 should choose their
future
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
 because that make them more
productivity
Replace the word
productive
show examples
 and have
desire
Correct article usage
a desire
show examples
 to achieve their goals.
Also
Linking Words
, they could be developing
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of their country.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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