young people feel free to choose their careers in their future working lives. However, they should be more realistic and look for the jobs that suit them

In recent days, some
people
believe that young
people
should be freer to choose
their
Change the word
the
show examples
work that they want to do in their
future
working lives, while others believe that young
people
should be more realistic and choose the
jobs
that will be possible for them to do in their
future
working lives. I believe that youth
people
should
be choose
Change the verb form
be choosing
show examples
what they want to do in
future
. In the following paragraphs I will explain both views and clearly give my opinion.
To begin
with, some
people
say that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation should be freer to collect their
jobs
.
For example
, young
people
prefer to go to work they really want rather than
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
with
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
salary that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them feel pressure and unproductivity.
Moreover
, if they choose their
future
career, they perfectly reach their goals because they feel passion
toward
Change preposition
for
show examples
their work. To illustrate,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more
knowledge
Replace the word
knowledgeable
show examples
and
aware
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awareness
show examples
about new technology so they can improve the economy of their country and achieve their goals in their workplace.
On the other hand
, some
people
say that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation should
be realistically choose
Change the verb form
realistically choose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
in
future
life. Every workplace has
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
. So,
people
think that they should fulfil
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
job
because of their families and responsibilities. They try to get a
job
with a high salary to live their lives even if
this
job
is not making them feel
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
. To sum up,
people
have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
about choosing the
jobs
in
future
. I strongly believe that young
people
should choose their
future
jobs
because that make them more
productivity
Replace the word
productive
show examples
and have
desire
Correct article usage
a desire
show examples
to achieve their goals.
Also
, they could be developing
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
of their country.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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