IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many companies are producing
products
Use synonyms
 that contain high
levels
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
. In recent years, many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to have sweet foods compared with the earlier decades.
As a result
Linking Words
, of
this
Linking Words
, case many
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from various health problems like obesity, high blood
sugar
Use synonyms
 and heart diseases.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore what might
this
Linking Words
 case and express my view in the end.
First
Linking Words
 of all, in the present day, the public has preferred to have fast foods, beverages and other
products
Use synonyms
. Most of the manufacturing companies are makes their
products
Use synonyms
, which is using with high
levels
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 content due to increase the taste and flavour of the final outcome. On the one hand,
sugar
Use synonyms
 is a very addictive thing and many residents are use candy to gain higher energy
levels
Use synonyms
, better sleep, a stronger immune system as well.
However
Linking Words
, using a higher amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
, which is directly affected by our healthy lifestyle. The government is required to makes policies, rules and regulations in consumption
levels
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government introduce new taxation on sugary
products
Use synonyms
, the final product will be expensive than the previous one. It would help to change the community mind and perspectives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it would help to reduce the disease level of the society, can control consumer’s views on sweet things.
Finally
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
 has an attractive taste and addictive power. The
people
Use synonyms
 like to enjoy with
this
Linking Words
 taste the different parts of the world, which causes affected a human body. In my point of view, I am in favour of the statement,
hence
Linking Words
 we can control the
people
Use synonyms
 addiction on the candy, while it will help to make a healthy community in the future world and the
people
Use synonyms
 could use various low-
sugar
Use synonyms
 healthy substitute in upcoming years.
Submitted by kasun.sanjayacool on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: