Example 1 in exam : some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is damaging the environment and should stop. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Many
people
believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic development is the most effective way to solve some problems about starvation and poverty. Other
people
suppose that because of economic development, the environment is radically destroying and they must stop.
This
essay will illustrate obviously both views given above and give the recommendation which aspect is more beneficial from my perspective. On the one hand, increasing dramatically in the economy not only creates a better life for many
people
but
also
resolves an eclectic mix of issues. For the most part, when having accurate judgement in any country,
people
always base on these country’s economies which play a fundamental role
for
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in
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building up a strong foundation. With these positive aspects,
people
will receive a lot of extravagant profits which is attributed to the fact that
people
’s lives will enhance radically.
For example
, GDP in Vietnam in 2019 was 7,9 that described correctly
about
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people
’s lives, compared to 2020 ,we witnessed a sharp decline, at around 2,9. In these numbers, we
also
know that
people
struggled to a low standard of life.
On the other hand
,
with
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apply
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the rapid development of the economy, which will pose a serious threat to the quality of human’s
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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. If the government wants to invest to lift up the economic growth, they need to increase the number of productions in many aspects which actively lead to low quality of the environment.
For instance
, many huge factories in Vietnam
also
climb the productivity, they will discharge tons of smoke which is the main reason for air pollution and a greenhouse effect. In conclusion, there is no doubt about the necessity of developing an economy
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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solves starvation and poverty, but a fresh environment is definitely crucial for health.
Therefore
the combination
both
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of both
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of them will create
fulfill
Change the form of the verb
fulfilling
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life for
people
.
Submitted by plt13112001 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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